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Title: BPD and OCPD Post by: Buzz77 on May 07, 2013, 01:54:40 AM Anyone experience BPD exes w/ strong OCPD tendencies?
My ex used to claim I swallowed wrong (too loud), chewed wrong, kissed wrong (she said we had different kissing styles and that's why we weren't meant to be), hugged wrong, smelt of too much sweat, smelt too much of Right Guard when I tried to get rid of the sweat smell, didn't hold her hand with the right pressure, didn't caress her thighs and arms with the exact right pressure, hated when I told jokes once too often, told her I looked at her the wrong way... . refused to order the same dish I got, refused to watch any movie or TV show if it was mid-way... . Title: Re: BPD and OCPD Post by: Clearmind on May 07, 2013, 02:39:40 AM Buzz, I suspect you maybe confusing OCPD for controlling.
Do you not see these as controlling behaviors? Excerpt Definition By Mayo Clinic staff Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is an anxiety disorder characterized by unreasonable thoughts and fears (obsessions) that lead you to do repetitive behaviors (compulsions). With obsessive-compulsive disorder, you may realize that your obsessions aren't reasonable, and you may try to ignore them or stop them. But that only increases your distress and anxiety. Ultimately, you feel driven to perform compulsive acts in an effort to ease your stressful feelings. Obsessive-compulsive disorder often centers around themes, such as a fear of getting contaminated by germs. To ease your contamination fears, you may compulsively wash your hands until they're sore and chapped. Despite your efforts, thoughts of obsessive-compulsive behavior keep coming back. This leads to more ritualistic behavior — and a vicious cycle that's characteristic of obsessive-compulsive disorder. Symptoms By Mayo Clinic staff Obsessive-compulsive disorder symptoms include both obsessions and compulsions. Obsession symptoms OCD obsessions are repeated, persistent and unwanted ideas, thoughts, images or impulses that you have involuntarily and that seem to make no sense. These obsessions typically intrude when you're trying to think of or do other things. Obsessions often have themes to them, such as: Fear of contamination or dirt Having things orderly and symmetrical Aggressive or horrific impulses Sexual images or thoughts Obsession symptoms and signs may include: Fear of being contaminated by shaking hands or by touching objects others have touched Doubts that you've locked the door or turned off the stove Thoughts that you've hurt someone in a traffic accident Intense stress when objects aren't orderly or facing the right way Images of hurting your child Impulses to shout obscenities in inappropriate situations Avoidance of situations that can trigger obsessions, such as shaking hands Replaying pornographic images in your mind Dermatitis because of frequent hand washing Skin lesions because of picking at your skin Hair loss or bald spots because of hair pulling www.mayoclinic.com/health/obsessive-compulsive-disorder/DS00189 Title: Re: BPD and OCPD Post by: Buzz77 on May 07, 2013, 02:51:32 AM Interestingly, OCPD (a personality disorder) is different from OCD; see DSM criteria below
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fourth edition, (DSM IV-TR = 301.4), a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines obsessive–compulsive personality disorder (in Axis II Cluster C) as:[11]A pervasive pattern of preoccupation with orderliness, perfectionism, and mental and interpersonal control, at the expense of flexibility, openness, and efficiency, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by four (or more) of the following: is preoccupied with details, rules, lists, order, organization, or schedules to the extent that the major point of the activity is lost shows perfectionism that interferes with task completion (e.g., is unable to complete a project because his or her own overly strict standards are not met) is excessively devoted to work and productivity to the exclusion of leisure activities and friendships (not accounted for by obvious economic necessity) is overconscientious, scrupulous, and inflexible about matters of morality, ethics, or values (not accounted for by cultural or religious identification) is unable to discard worn-out or worthless objects even when they have no sentimental value is reluctant to delegate tasks or to work with others unless they submit to exactly his or her way of doing things adopts a miserly spending style toward both self and others; money is viewed as something to be hoarded for future catastrophes shows rigidity and stubbornness Title: Re: BPD and OCPD Post by: Clearmind on May 07, 2013, 02:55:23 AM Labels are tempting. Was your ex diagnosed - do you not see her behaviour as controlling?
The DSM requires 4 or more of the above to be diagnosed. Title: Re: BPD and OCPD Post by: Buzz77 on May 07, 2013, 03:12:53 AM No, my ex has never been in therapy; she tried going on Clonzepam and immediately freaked out on it (she ironically got more anxious about taking the drug).
Absolutely, so many of her behaviors were controlling... . in the thick of the rltp., I enabled many of them, chewing slowly in her presence or trying to kiss her silently ("not a sound" she would demand)... . she even described sex to me as being about "control." The other day my friend told me I chew fine (funny how blinded I guess I got in the rltp.; again here I must look at myself)... . |