BPDFamily.com

Since leaving my BPD and filing for divorce she replied by smearing me and succeeding, even able  to convince my own attorney that I am a drug addict. Result I have not seen my children on a regular basis since December. When I do see them it is on her terms and only 2 hours on every other Sunday. I am seeking a new attorney, even though I have read this is not recommended, to ramp up my case rather than stand idly by to hear my attorney say we need to do what they say to see the children. Anyone know of an attorney available in the Atlanta area that has experience with high functioning BPD's?

You change attorneys when the one you're paying isn't representing you like you'd like.Check with Cordell and Cordell.They specialize in mens rights and have some in your area.

www.cordellcordell.com/

I live in the Atlanta-Metro area and have some experience with several, but it really depends on your exact jurisdiction.  They mostly seem to become specialists in one county, and not too many are well regarded in multiple jurisdictions, at least to my knowledge (but I do know of one!).

Anyway, I'll PM you.

I'm in the Atlanta metro area... .  yes, there are so many counties in this area, they each have their own flavor.  I'll check and see if my attorney is still in practice (I've been divorced a LONG time).

Thanks guys for the responses. Good point marbleloser, thanks.

Not trying to put up roadblocks, I recently considered going with Cordell & Cordell.  Then I did a little research and found a TON of bad press.  www.pissedconsumer.com/reviews-by-company/cordell-and-cordell.html.  I've since learned searching for a new attorney, most have at least one bad comment, but these guys have a lot.

If your attorney is taking information from the other side, that's a bad sign.  I used to get pissed at my last L when opposing counsel took pot shots at me that went unchallenged.  Beyond that, L's usually don't take intel from the other side to heart.  If yours is doing this, it's time to have a short, forceful talk, or find new counsel.  Seeing your children a few hours every other Sunday - you and your children deserve more than that. 

F & H - Sent you a private message with a few names. 

I have been firmly communicating with my attorney today that I want to go ahead and start supervised visitations for me and the kids so that at least we have a temporary visitation agreement. And I could have a witness to confirm that I am good with my children and not any danger at all. My attorney says no to this. Instead he says I just need to agree with what they offer.

Baby, sounds like a new attorney.  That's not a workable solution.  The idea is not that the client suggests the workable solutions that get shot down by the attorney.  The attorney shold be giving you options to have a more stable arrangement.

You need a new attorney and now.

Even if there are a stack of UA's positive for drugs, even if there are documented cases of abuse of the children, you need to be having supervised visitation with a professional supervisor.  Well, especially if those things are true.

You should probably also go a find a place you can get a hair follicle test done.  Where I am it costs about $70.00 and can show drug use up to about 90 days in the past.  It will either show that you haven't used drugs, or it will be a baseline to show that you are no longer using.

An inexpensive drug test by a company recognized and accepted by your county's family court could have shot down that claim long ago.  Why did that never happen?


Typical minimums where abuse and neglect are unsubstantiated are alternate weekends and an evening or overnight in between.  Those are typical minimums.  Go to court and get at least the minimums typical in your area.  I agree, it sounds like you need a new lawyer if 4-5 months later you're still stuck without an initial temporary custody and parenting time order.

In fact, you probably should also claim that she is obstructing your parenting and that she cannot share the children whereas you can share and therefore you should be in charge of parenting.  Court may not listen since mothers often get default preference, but at least you get it on the record that you want as much parenting and custodial responsibility as possible.  It's important to show you care about your children and want to be deeply involved in their lives.)

What she is accomplishing so far is to create a new 'normal' where you see the children infrequently and at her discretion and whims.  The problem with the passage of time under her arrangements is that courts are reluctant to change the current arrangements without good reason.  They like to maintain the status quo since they don't want to 'upset' the child with changes.  You need to get an order ASAP before it is inclined to accept recent months as okay.  (If you do have an order giving you more time with the children than she is allowing, then you need to have your lawyer file Contempt of Court against her for her obstruction of the court's order.  She does NOT have the right to unilaterally ignore a court order, not without risk of legal consequences.)

When you get a court order, even a temporary order for parenting time, then nothing is left to her discretion, the court will have decided the basic issues.  (Of course she can still obstruct, make new complaints and even ignore compliance, but enforcing compliance with a court order is another matter, you're not there yet, you first have to get a court order for parenting time and almost always the court's order is far better than what the obstructing parent would ever agree to.)

Edit:  I just noticed your comment about willing to do supervised visitation.  What's that about.  You were already seeing them alternate weekends.  Why go to supervised?  I really believe fast-tracking the initial temporary order would be the best thing to do - IMO.  However, if you do agree to supervised, it must (1) be with others supervising, not her, (2) no admission of guilt of any sort, (3) only temporary until a family court judge can issue a parenting time order, (4) that agreeing to supervised visitation not be presented to the judge as basis for consideration nor negatively, that it is ONLY to establish regular extended visits until an order can be issued.  Remember, she is aiming to make you look b-a-d.  Better to wait another month or so to get the judge's order rather than start a history of looking questionable or even bad - IMO.

When is supervised parenting usually ordered?  If a parent has demonstrated being substantively abusive or substantively neglectful toward the children.  In other words, dangerous or a risk to the welfare of the children.

When is supervised parenting usually ordered?  If a parent has demonstrated being substantively abusive or substantively neglectful toward the children.  In other words, dangerous or a risk to the welfare of the children.  If there is no abuse and no neglect, then there is no basis whatsoever for supervised visitation - well, except in her mind.   Yes, if she makes allegations before the judge that you are abusive or neglectful, the judge might order temporary supervised visitation until the allegation can be determined substantiated or unsubstantiated, but it should end as soon as the court learns it is unsubstantiated.

There is a risk that during these months where you've had limited time with your children that she may be alienating them against you and even indoctrinating them with lies and fears about you, even prepping them to be the ones to make allegations about you.

That's what my ex tried and did, everything above and more.  Your spouse appears to have behaved before and after separation much like my ex.  Be aware.  Beware.