|
Title: For others here with adopted kids - kind of puts their feelings in perspective Post by: BioAdoptMom3 on May 09, 2013, 11:07:47 PM To my Adoptive Mother
(written in adopted child language) by Stacy Manning I think this also helps us realize why so many adopted children are diagnosed with BPD! On Mother's Day I can't just think of you. I am not sure one person can love two moms, I wonder if I am supposed to choose maybe if I choose her she'll choose me this time. I am not good enough. On Mother's Day I can't be only happy that I have you because it means I don't have her. I am sad. On Mother's Day I can't just be peaceful I am so worried I am going to mess up, I don't understand what is really expected from me, I just want to run away or crawl in a hole. I am anxious. On Mother's Day I can't believe I am good enough to have a mom like you. I know that mothers leave Before you leave me I have to push you away so it won't hurt so much. I am scared. On Mother's Day I can't feel vulnerable enough to show you how much I need you. I will need to create a smoke screen of behaviors, words and choices that will cover that vulnerability up. I am a survivor. Title: Re: For others here with adopted kids - kind of puts their feelings in perspective Post by: cfh on May 09, 2013, 11:33:08 PM BioAdoptMom
I've been off this board for a while... . I just needed a break. I have 2 adopted kids 28 and 29. One with BPD and one (non) who has suffered greatly as a result of growing up with a BPD brother. I printed this out not to give to my BPD son but to give it to my non BPD son. He is the one who I think will most identify with those feelings. 30 years ago I had a very different feeling about adoption-I thought we would just love them and give them a great life and they would be fine. Now I often wonder if we were doing the right thing for our boys... . taking them away from their bio moms and their environment. |