BPDFamily.com

A few questions that fellow members might be able to answer about pwBPD if i may:-

1)   Do they find it difficult to say "thank you" when you have done something nice for them?

2)   Do they make new friends easily by being over friendly to people they first meet?

3)   Do they always have a false smile on their face that they can switch on and off with ease?

4)   Do some of the stories they tell about themselves and others sound to fantastic to be true?

5)   Are they capable of committing  a serious criminal act?

6)   Are they capable of putting their children into the limelight to gain attraction for themselves?

Thank you for reading.

I can't speak for all pwBPD, but my ex-girlfriend would rarely say thank you or show me any sign of gratitude for the things I'd do for her. It would really upset me. Sometimes I would sarcastically say to her "you're welcome" if she forgot to say thanks. I even asked her one time why she didn't thank me much and she said something along the lines of "I don't know. I guess I'm just screwed up in the head." Totally made me feel used. I was her errand boy, basically.

Mine pretty much never said thank you, and after a while I learned is was a combination of the fact that her own crap was so intense she didn't have the awareness to focus on someone else's needs or be polite, coupled with the fact she saw a thank you as humility and gratitude that came with an obligation, and wouldn't go there, since that would be closer to a 50/50 partnership than 100% control on her part.  And when I got tired of her rudeness I'd call her on it, and she would get immediately filled with shame, which then morphed into rage and blame.  Thrill a minute with that girl.

A pwBPD is a person lacking a fully formed self, so they MUST attach to people, otherwise they will cease to exist, it's a matter of life or death.  Tough to get your head around at first.  Mine was extremely good at connecting with men, not so much with women, who didn't like her much, mostly because her connections with men were sex-based, but she found that worked the best.  She's practiced it her whole life, and she is absolutely gorgeous when she turns on attraction mode, but the real her is pretty ugly.

I can answer 1 - 5 regarding my ex but just like the rest of the world all pwBPD aren't identical and some things they do have nothing to do w/BPD.

1. This depended if I was black or white. When I was white he showed gratitude, when I was black nothing I did was right.

2. Yes, absolutely. One example: The waiter at a new restaurant became his new best friend by dessert and he went on and on about what a great person he was etc. They played hockey a couple times then my ex never spoke to him again.

3. No, this wasn't my ex at all. He was a prisoner of his feelings, he couldn't "fake" it. What you saw was what you got.

4. Oh yes, life is bigger, better and more special in his universe.

5. My ex absolutely was capable of committing a criminal act.