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Title: Can't they move on and think of something new? Post by: ComoLu on May 11, 2013, 01:26:49 AM I am so frustrated. I am trying to sell a house with my uxBPDH. I keep trying to get him to address issues with the house like getting a new realtor, changing insurance companies, etc. He just keeps blaming me for everything and refusing to face reality. His work has been his excuse for everything. He has been blaming me for picking our bad realtors for a year, even though I didn't pick them. I cannot get him to address anything new, come up with solutions, or make intelligent decisions. Is anyone else having these issues? I am ready to scream.
Title: Re: Can't they move on and think of something new? Post by: BorderlineMagnet on May 11, 2013, 01:58:15 AM Nothing they think or do is rational in certain (or most) situations. You really have to remind yourself of that or you will go nuts. I spent 5 years with one of my pwBPD ex gf's and it took me most of that time to learn that lesson. The illogical is the norm for them, so if you're a logical person you just have to relax, breathe, and remind yourself that chaos and conflict is the norm for them. You will probably just have to go over his head and do what needs to be done. With both of my BPD ex's the fact that they were extremely indecisive made it hard for me because I care about other's input and feelings about situations. I just had to make peace with that I would need to decide nearly everything and deal with the consequences later. It really sucks, but a lot of the time you will find yourself in a lose/lose situation with them. Just remind yourself that it's not you, it's them, and that there really is no "them" on the inside. Just fear.
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