BPDFamily.com

I haven't talked to her since Friday afternoon.  She had her big weekend date. I'm assuming the girl left (has a 3-4 hour drive home).

I just got a text "Happy Mother's Day!" from her.  I have no kids.  I don't want kids. 

I replied "Wrong number" and she said "No you're a mom" (I have a parrot).  I said "leave me alone" and she said "10-4" (she knows I HATE that).

I'm shaking.  I'm sick.  My head is reeling and I'm dizzy.  Why does she do this to me?  How does she have this effect on me when I know she just "rolled in the hay" with some girl from states away?  I should hate her.

I'm a mess.  I can't do this.  I can't deal with these feelings.

To see if the hooks of control are still in their rightful place in you. She won just by getting you to write her back, fulfillment by getting a response and then more ammo to why you're a bad person and she's not because of your reply when "all she wanted to do was wish you a happy mothers day".

No contact. The only salvation.

You fed the monster so it's going to stay close by.

At this point, I'm okay with being the "bad guy"  I moved across the country to get away from her, so she can badmouth me in that town all she wants.

I just need her to leave me alone.  My reaction to her contacting me is panic, anxiety, and depression.  I need to make her go away.

I moved too!  It didn't give me the emotional distance that I really needed, but the physical distance helped.  It sounds like you need create more emotional space from these shenanigans.  It's hard I get it.  These attempts are just a way to gauge your attachment.

Working on detaching is going to help too.  How's that going?

I want to detach, but I can't.  I love her.  I don't know why, but I do.  As much as I hate to admit it, she's still got me.  She'll have me till I'm dead.

I still have strong feelings for my ex too.  Its hard to let go of someone that made such an impact on our life.  I just hope that as the days keep coming the feelings keep fleeting.