BPDFamily.com

Does anyone without a spouse have a living will? My BPD mother is so insane (and possibly bipolar with dementia now) around medical situations that I don't want her having any kind of access to any of my records, ever.

She's shoved her way into Dr's appointments when I was a young adult. She's demanded medical facts. She's refused to have mature discussions about news stories involving right to life stuff. Gossip and re-sharing of every injury other family members sustain. Her family also will like, post and share confidential stuff like xrays and ER photos online. A few family members work in medical billing and spy on other family's records and gossip about it. If there is a disaster, she will bully her way to the center of it so she has something to control.

Is there a way to have a "do not allow this person near me in an emergency" order or something? How does that even work in the US?

I'm married, but in my state, anyone can download the forms off the state's website and fill them out and get them notarized. The forms ask you to put people who CAN make those decisions for you and also you can put special instructions on there. I am in Washington State. But check your state's website.

How do they store those? Do you tell someone close you have one, or are they stored in a system or something?

BPD mother is so crazy that just discussing this concept will cause conflict. She throws crying tantrums if I go to the dentist, I can't imagine her gaining any control in a car accident or something worse.

What I was instructed to do was have copies notarized and give a copy to each person I wanted to give the decision making permission too. They keep the copies and you can give a copy (doesn't need to be notarized, just copy of notarized paper) to your doctors. The hospital also asked for it when I had surgery.