BPDFamily.com

Been no contact for 15 days... .  which i inititiated... .  she texted me a few days ago about not using her email for my stub hub account in a nasty way(10 days after i used it)... .  didnt respond back. Shes been liking my posts on facebook... .  including one that said... .  "6 more days... .  thank jeebus." i was referring to getting my license back so i can drive... .  (she dumped me 2 days before the suspension) my mom had a feeling shed reengage after i got my truck back so that i could take her out and such(idk?) my mom is aware of her condition... .  she messaged my mom at 730 am on mothers day... .  " I know things didnt end well with your son and I but i wanted to tell you to have a wonderful day on Mothers Day!" my mom thought it was peculiar, especially the time... .  730 am... .  my mom said, she must have been thinking of you before she went to bed to think of you right away in the morning... .  my mom thought she was trying to butter her up so that when she trys to get back together with me my mom wont be against it.(haha) This is the only reason i could see her messaging my mom randomly at 730 in the morning on a sunday... .  She doesnt go to church. and on that same day... .  she sent me a message at 1pm. "I got yoru card, and I wanted to text you and tell you thank!:)" 70 minutes later after i dont respond... .  "I don't know why you ignore me, we're gonna have to ahve contact eventually because you still have my jacket, shoes and tooth brush.and I have your swim trunks and your moms suitecase. Maybe you dont want your stuff back, but I want mine." the last time she was at my apt. she asked if she could leave her jacket at my place... .  and i had her shoes in my truck the last time i dropped her off and she said whatever, ill just get em later or something like that... .  Shes getting out of school in like 2 weeks... .  Does she sound like she wants to reconnect or is taht wishful thinking? Is she planning a reengagement or am i overthinking the signs? dont want her back, but i do miss her company... .  ugghhhh... .  imas crazy as her if i want her back... .  

To clear up some defintions/meaning.

WillSurvive, by definition engaging is simply reaching out and making contact. We have no clue what the intentions are – it could be friendly - however we assume a recycle because thats what we hope for. Recycling on other hand is an action requiring two people – one to initiate and one to accept – this is a dance for two.

The prospect of a recycle can be exciting, even crave the contact to fulfil our own needs – after all – we were attracted to the drama in these relationships. So while we see our ex’s as attempting to lure us in – mostly it’s not to start the relationship where it left of. And yes sometimes it has more to do with our wishful thinking.

We crave the idealization phase and strive to get it back – it made us feel good – and now we don’t. We are grieving and can see signs that really aren’t there.

It’s possible she is simply being friendly. Borderlines are not bad people - they can do good things. If you don’t want contact – then block.

What other steps can you take to move forward?

My BPhusband, (whom I separated from 2 1/2 months ago) and I are trying to work our marriage out... .  But I've read and tried all the suggestions for the nonBP to help "manage" this relationship (validating, setting boundaries, etc)... .  I've come to realize that after 4 years with him, I am no longer emotionally strong enough to stay in this relationship... .  For the last several months, there have been far fewer good days with him than bad... .  He will rage and have tantrums for hours, days... .  Since I no longer live with him, he has to attack/punish me by calls and texts which he does relentlessly... .  It's to the point I'm going to have to change my number because I just feel such anxiety just looking at my phone cause I know the words are going to be so hurtful... .  But why is it that he just goes on and on about how bad I am, accusing me of cheating, saying bad things about my children, etc, etc, etc... .  jealousy, demands, etc... .  and then it all of a sudden stops and he's nice and loving again?  It's as if a light switch just gets flipped... .  But I think at this point, I have some sort of PTSD (Complex PTSD) because the thought of moving back in with him makes me a nervous wreck cause I'm always expecting the other shoe to drop... .  or for the switch to be flipped back... .  

i had PTSD from an assault where i sustained a brain injury... .  i think the PTSD from a breakup is worse in terms of trauma sustained to your ego and idenity(psychological trauma) She says were in a complicated r/s on facebook, but shes starting looking for a replacement on POF? Man, I wanna put her on blast... .  But the other part of me, just wants to have fun with her during the summer if shes down, and then move on in the Fall... .  maybe its wishful thinking, but why the hell wouldnt it work if we both know its eventually going to end anyway.Idk maybe its silly thinking but its kinda puts no pressure on the r/s to work... .  wed just have fun for the summer and be acquaitances after that... .  even though i hate her... .  cant stand the thought of her having sex with another man... .  throws me into a RAGE... .