BPDFamily.com

I am seriously thinking of just "disappearing" one day from my BPD. Would this be a bad idea? I just need a break from the little dramas, from having to deal with the passive FB posts and aggressive texts, of things being turned around on me, of major jealousy on insignificant things... .  most of all from one day she's happy to see me, next thing I know, she can't stand seeing me... .  

Exhausted

As the old McDonald's commercial goes, "You deserve a break today... .  "   :)

I am trying to learn to take care of myself in relationship with someone who is mentally ill as well. I'm bumbling along but starting to learn some things (I think)! I find that when my partner needs space and disappears - which is a weekly occurrence these days - I am able to also take space for myself. It's really been helping me a lot. Of course, I live with my partner and I do not know what your situation is, if this might apply or not.

This is a friendship... .  a complicated one. I have learned to enjoy my space but it took a while to get here. I try to let her know that I am interested in spending time with her. I ask once and I stop after that... . just enough for her to know. She usually will come up with ways to spend time but it is always on her terms, on her convenience. Aside from one text from me today, I kept quiet and left her alone. She called me two times but completely ignored what I said in my text about maybe having lunch or going for a massage. I did my part as far as I'm concerned.

You seem like such a great person... .  I'm not sure what the "friendship" is, but do you really want to keep yourself bound to this if it's so painful that you want to run away?  I don't mean to be rude... .  just curious.

The problem is I really cannot run away... .  we live less than 2 miles from each other, we go to the same places, we know the same people so the likelihood of us running into each other is big. We are close, close enough that we can read each other's minds. I can read her moods so in that way it makes it easier to know what to expect, when to back off. Sometimes a break is all I need.  Today was good because she had an event to go to with her husband.

pwBPDs often have a great fear of abandonment... .  "disappearing" will likely trigger somethign big.

There was a time I "disappeared" for a few hours because then-bf (now h) was raging at me non-stop for 3 days.  He still talks about me leaving him up to this very day (and he doesn't talk about why I had to make this dramatic move, funnily enough).

That day, I kept quiet... .  I received numerous texts while she was at the event asking me where I was, what I was doing and where I went that day... .  three times she asked me where I was. Strange but I'm not surprised.

HK, its important to put some boundaries in place, ignore the aggressive texts etc.

Enabling is extremely draining.

Are you supporting or enabling? (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=95263.0)