BPDFamily.com

Hi everyone,

Things had been progressing, I went NC for a few months and was in the process of building contact back up and managing the situation.

My brother (learning and physical disabilities) had an accident (long story) and lots of decisions need to be made as a family, I had two phone calls with my parents together where they treated me with an arrogant and dismissive manner, so I am now communicating to them soley by email.

Just wanted to say that I have found communicating to them solely via email to be a good solution for this type of scenario as:

• You have everything on record that is said (handy to show relatives who find it all hard to comprehend)



• It is far easier to be assertive and set boundaries



• You / they can choose when to read their / your reply, and when to respond



• It's harder for them to make you feel guilty



• They can't claim you said something you didn't



• You have time to perfect your response



• You are not refusing to communicate with them, merely choosing the best method for you right now
  
  



• Both parties have time to vent anger / frustration before replying
  
  



• It takes a lot of the anxiety away over communication with them as an email is finite, a phone call lasts for an unpredictable amount of time and the outcome changes by how you do / don't react



• They have to listen, it's there in writing, if they delete it you can send it again.

Hi longships,

It sounds like you're figuring out what works for you in terms of boundaries. Your reasoning is sound-written communication can be a lot easier to handle than face to face because you can test your words before sending them out into the world and because you can keep the proof for both parties. :) Keep up the good work.