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I went to his AA meeting with him last week. It was good. I think that he can relate to a lot of what was said there and it's helping him. Then we went to his therapist together and it just felt like I was in a strange tv show where he's the one who's fine and I'm the one with issues. After the woman drew a heart saying 'front' with a door on it saying that this is what 'good' you do for yourself, and then another heart with 'back' and a door on it saying that this is the 'good' you do for others... . Both the therapist and my BP boyfriend were talking like HE somehow gives too much and is 'all about helping everyone around him' What the heck planet am I on? Has anyone had any luck with meetings such as this? Apparently this woman has an interesting background, and I feel like she's being tricked by his charismatic, manipulative ways. While drawing the hearts she asked me what I do that's good for myself, I answer: yoga. And then she asks what I do good for others... . In my head I knew I couldn't say that I likely do more good for others than I need to. So I answer: I don't know. She goes on about how if I don't do good for others then I'll turn into a blah blah blah bad person. Thankfully, to his credit, the bf comes to my 'rescue' and says 'She's not like that, she does lots for others' ... . but I still feel attacked. I started reading  'Walking on Eggshells' and the last argument we had, my BP bf says 'why don't you consult your books?' ... . I know it's him and not me... . But does the therapist? I'm considering talking to her on my own, since she did give her information to me and that had been discussed. I'm thinking that doing my own thing, and attending this CoDA meeting in half an hour may help too. Because after reading an old note in his iPhone from last October about how he's unsure how to bring up that he doesn't love me anymore... . I just don't know. Having a therapist that understands BPD would be nice. (which also seemed to be an issue, 'we don't label people here' ... . ok I get that, but does she know what she's dealing with? Because I can't do this alone.) And thank you, everyone. I love this community.

I can't say that I have experience but it has come up between us recently. She has already mentioned how therapy did not work for her in the past because she would apparently try to turn the tables on the therapist. It has me worried about whether therapy would even help if she has the mindset that it won't help her. I haven't been a member here terribly long, but your story sounds like a couple others I have read on here. I know that success is possible though. Because I have heard those stories too. I hope speaking with the therapist yourself will help the situation. I would find it frustrating if a therapist was not willing to at least acknowledge BPD. If the term is taboo for them, the associated behavioral and emotional tendencies are still quite frightening on their own.