BPDFamily.com

Well once again things turned in the drop of a hat. Started pushing me away. He does'nt even realize he is doing it. I know the ex is coming soon for a visit, so I am pretty sure that has something to do with it. I told him again, I am not going to be used for sex, and he ended it saying he is not going through this anymore. Of course, it has become my fault. He said I make him sound like a bad person. I told him he is not a bad person, he is a disturbed person. I told him its called Borderline Personality disorder. I'm sure he has painted me blacker than black now, but he knows there is something wrong with him and has asked me before what I thought it was, so now he knows. I'm sure he is making a joke of me right now, but deep down hopefully he will realize I am right. I told him that I love him and care about him, but I need someone who can love me back. I asked him if he has ever been with someone just because he loves them, and I know he has not. His first wife was out of obligation to their daughter, and the second was money. I have nothing more to offer him but love and that is the thing he fears most so that is why I am constantly being pushed away. I feel so bad because I know he is so messed up and I do love him but I know trying to make this work is pointless. I still cannot get the courage to block his number because I am sure he will be contacting me again at some point which is telling me I'm still hanging on to hope. I pray for the courage to put this man out of my life for good. A man who has sucked my inner soul right out of me. I am a strong person except when it comes to him, I am mush.