BPDFamily.com

Just curious - my stbexw used to hate her family.  She wanted no contact with her parents or her sister.  But since we split 6 months ago - she is now living with her sister and they are best friends - she has disowned my family who she used to love more than her own and now is hanging out with her mom alot.  She used to get physically sick if we ever had to goto her parents house - she would only email them our daughters events - but now they are soo close.  Everything she tried to run away from she has returned - she used to see them as evil and messed up people - but now my family is evil and messed up - even after all they did was show her love for years and treated her like the daughter she never was treated like growing up.

My ex had the same love/hate relationship with her family.  She would be living with her family and talk about how much she needs to get away from them.  Then they'd be having a laugh and getting along fine.  Then there would be chaos and she'd be leaving saying she wants to cut them out of her life.  Honestly I couldn't blame her too much because I saw that environment and it explained A LOT of why she has the issues she does!  I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of people with BPD have similarly toxic family environments where it all stems from.

My BPD returned to his ex, who he hated.   He said she was physically and mentally abusive, ruined him financially and caused his son's emotional issues.   First, he told me she ruined his life, etc.   Then, he admitted he was still attracted to her.   Finally, he revealed that he still loved her - despite the fact that she treated him like dirt, never paid attention to his needs.   But even after he said he still loved her, at times he would talk about what a horrible person she is.   BPDs flip-flop between idealizing people and hating them.   I'm a non, so I never quite understood it but the more I read about BPD the more his behavior towards his ex made sense to me.