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Title: Craziest question? Post by: MockingbirdHL on May 27, 2013, 04:27:23 PM In the past month+ that my dBPDh has been gone on his mind clearing / cooling off period - whatever he calls it, he has asked me some pretty crazy questions. It still sometimes surprises me to hear that he constantly thinks this way :
1. Why is there an empty 24 pack of diet coke in the trash can? He knows I don't drink diet coke and neither does anyone else in the house. He said his emotional guy reaction was that I had "company". I explained it was from my D10's father who has a habit of cleaning out his truck when he comes to pick up my D10. 2. Did you move one of the chairs on the patio? Um maybe when I sat in one sometime over the past five weeks? Again he thought I had company. 3. Why is there a XL tag in the trash in the bathroom? You wear a S Its a XL (14-16) kids tag from a dress I bought D10 yesterday. Sigh. That's just in the past weekend (and he's not even home)! What crazy things does your pwBPD ask? Title: Re: Craziest question? Post by: waverider on May 27, 2013, 07:07:24 PM I get all this.
I think it comes from their behavior of constantly covering things up, they think this is normal and entirely plausible that you would do the same. It can put you in the JADE mode... . So I now just shrug and say... . dunno... . Title: Re: Craziest question? Post by: MockingbirdHL on May 27, 2013, 08:40:05 PM I try not to JADE but just answer as succinctly as possible with the facts only.
Title: Re: Craziest question? Post by: Chosen on May 27, 2013, 08:54:39 PM It would seem like he's trying to conjure up a story to fit his feelings of insecurity. And of course, when you JADE, it would most certainly mean you are covering things up (for him)!
I think answering with certain facts only are good, and for myself, I try to keep it within one sentence. Otherwise I will forget and start JADEing. Title: Re: Craziest question? Post by: MockingbirdHL on May 27, 2013, 09:25:58 PM Chosen - I completely agree with you; I think this is all part of his searching for "proof" that his feelings / suspicions are "real" or "true".
I do try and keep my answers short and sweet. I need more practice at that because I tend to repeat myself thinking that emphasizes my point when it probably just makes it look like I'm covering something up. Title: Re: Craziest question? Post by: Chosen on May 27, 2013, 09:49:49 PM I need more practice at that because I tend to repeat myself thinking that emphasizes my point when it probably just makes it look like I'm covering something up. I'm like that as well- it's crazy how we, as the "innocent" ones (within the scope of their accusations), need to try so hard to protect our innocence, and even then it is not guaranteed? This is why pwBPDs are "crazymaking"- they make the people around them seem crazy. The irony. Title: Re: Craziest question? Post by: waverider on May 28, 2013, 12:49:41 AM The problem is a lot of the time the issue is so irrelevant that you dont actually know what the answer is, so your answer is a half guess, that starts to make it sound like an excuse, especially if they can demonstrate your guess is wrong, hence a lie. It also engages the discussion into a circle about nothing.
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