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I have a few underhanded tools I use. One is distraction, where I randomly change the subject when things get weird. My new one is confusion, where I repeatedly act like I didn't understand the statement, the point of it, and kind of give a dead, baffled look to the topic. I act like they're speaking a foreign language, which in some ways they are.

"So and so is gossiping about you."

"Who? Oh... . hold on, I dropped my phone. (drops phone on purpose)."

I probably shouldn't do this, but if I tried SKILLS on every point of weirdness, I would be in a state of constant behavior policing.

Actually, I like your technique. It works with toddlers, and PD's are emotionally children, soo... .

:lol:  Doesn't sound underhanded at all, sounds like a good coping technique  :)

However, hopefully, one day you will just be able to say "I am not interested in what so and so is saying about me, let's change the subject"  :)    It gets easier and easier the more you do it.  With my mom I still avoid, avoid, avoid but I hope to one day just say what I mean without being offensive.   :)

When DH and I were still speaking with MIL, I would play off as though I was confused sometimes or simply change the subject when she brought up things that made me feel uncomfortable.  Those tactics probably helped keep our r/s going for awhile and I think it will help keep your r/s going with your mom.  There are also medium chill techniques.  Have you looked a those?  I actually will use those on my colleagues sometimes when they get upset 

The moment I did as loveisfree suggests, MIL blew up and eventually went NC with myself and DH.  To her, when we asked her not to talk about something, she'd take it as a huge insult and a betrayal.  Boundaries didn't work well with uBPD MIL.