BPDFamily.com

So last night, I get a call from a friend I went to college with. She does not live locally and I haven't talked to her in over a year. It was hot as the dickens in the house so I went out to sit in my car and talk to her. I wasn't secretive, I said, "Going outside to talk to Lisa. It's hot in here and I can't hear her in the house."

My 16 1/2 year old daughter comes out to the car, literally two minutes later and insists I come inside to write out a check for her horse show. I said, "I will do it when I am done talking to Lisa". She started carrying on so bad, berating me and insisting I do this. My friend could hear every word. I felt so humiliated.  It went on for what seemed like ages while she tried to get me to cave in. I refused to give in to her this time. I rolled up my car windows and locked the doors and she literally tried to come in through my sunroof! After nearly an hour of this caterwauling I finally got her back in the house, turned around and walked out and drove down the street to finish my conversation. And her grandparents (who currently live under the same roof) still don't think there is anything wrong... .

I was so close to calling 211 for a mobile psych eval, but I can't bring myself to do it. She was literally, physically blocking me when I tried to walk back into the house. I don't know what I expect anyone to say, but I am so tired of all this drama... .

Then you reinforce for her that this tactic works: she may not get a check, but she gets drama  that distracts her from her interior dysregulation. If there is physical confrontation, CALL. If there is a threat of suicide, CALL.

vivgood

 

Hi pullingmyhairout,

*welcome*

And welcome to this board!

What a crazy world we live in sometimes, right? I am sorry you had to go through this. It must have been not only humiliating but also frustrating and maybe even frightening... .

This is a good place to share your story and look for insights and resources as you are trying to make your life more peaceful and orderly.

This kind of attention-seeking behavior is unfortunately fairly common for certain pwBPD   .

The good side of your story is the fact that you did not give in as you decided earlier. Sometimes when our kids w/BPD don't get their way when they were previously used to getting it, they escalate their behaviors.

And for the occasion that things get out of hand, we need to have our safety plan ready. It is hard to think sometimes when the moment is heated. So now you have a good opportunity to think back and decide, what is best to do in a situation like that. If it means calling 211, by all means, next time - do it. Is there anything else that you can think of now and have as a plan for similar situations?

Great advice Pessim,

I think the fact that you actually brought her back into the house,  and walked back out,  and still drove down the street to finish  your conversation,  was a definite  step in the right direction.  It seems she and her grandparents must have seen you meant business.  And meaning business wutg this kind of outrageous behavior,  is exactly what is needed.  Do you know how many parents would have just given in after such and ordeal ... . huh many.

Good for you! |iiii  As far your parents or in-laws this is not their child.  It is yours,  grandparents tend to want to find excuses for what their little darlings do.  But we as parents must do what we must.

I say three cheers for you  .  That was a bold move! :)

Pretty frightening stuff the things they do when they are dysregulated... .  

My dd18 once climbed out of a first floor window with nothing to break her fall other than her legs to chase after a boy she had only just met!

I know it is a hard thing for a mom to do but you are the one who has to live with her. Forgets what others have to say on he matter. Remind yourself that you are doing it for her. you only have your dd's best interests at heart and doing something that could be potentially harmful to herself or others are grounds enough to call 211.