BPDFamily.com

So I told myself I wouldn't look at my ex's social networking profiles anymore because I was only hurting myself by doing so, and with the help of a member I met up here, I was able to block him from seeing my photos and from contacting me on Skype (not that he'll ever look or contact me... . pretty sure he hates my guts).  I don't even know if he knows I have profiles since I created them after we broke up. 

Anyway, I didn't look at his stuff, but we do have mutual friends online, so it's common that I'll come across some pictures that he has commented on or "liked."  He has this friend who he has known since high school.  She's really pretty, and I know they used to text one another.  He comments on a lot of her pictures.  I keep coming across her page (and I don't follow her or anything... . people I follow know her if that makes sense).  Sorry if that sounds confusing.  Anyway, people "like" her pictures and whenever I see it, I am tempted to look at her page and see what he has commented or said.

I did it the other day.  Someone liked some of her pictures so I clicked on her profile.  She posted a picture and he told her "3 times the beauty" or something like that.  I don't know why but she was on my mind heavily today.  I guess I have always felt sort of insecure when it comes to her.  I try to tell myself that all this does is prove how desperate he is... . or how he never listened to anything I said seeing as I told him when we were going out that I thought his online activity was embarrassing (for him and for me) and disrespectful since he had a girlfriend.  When we were together, a family member of mine would often tell me that she saw comments he wrote on girls' pictures.

I have no idea why things like this bother me so much, like him calling his new love interest "beautiful" and speaking in her native language.  That upset me so much.  He calls everyone beautiful, so it shouldn't, right?  I'm sorry for ranting. I guess I just needed to get this out.

Arghhh. 

Aside from this, I'm doing alright.  I mean, I don't feel like bawling my eyes out, nor do I hope to hear from him like I used to.  I don't feel like I "need" to talk to him anymore, whereas before, I felt like I would die and waste away without him in my life.