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6 months after leaving the r/s with BPDex, everything in life has been working out for me but somehow I stay very very unhappy. I always cry at night because I am feeling extremely lonely. I don't think anyone would like me / or even they like me, but soon they will be getting tired of me after they discover who I really am because I am such a bad person.  My self-esteem was completely damaged from the past r/s with BPDex. Lately I refuse to speak with my family, I've been locking myself in the room after I get home from work. I've been having dinner in my room - somehow I just don't feel like making eye contacts with my family, and I couldn't explain why. I behave totally normal at work, my colleagues even refer me as the "comic relief" at the office - Like I am having double personalities.

I spoke with a friend who doesn't think he's suffering from bipolar disorder - yet he's been having a very trouble life as a young man, until recently he started seeing a psychiatrist, and he was placed on medication - he explained to me, the medicine works for him, because everything has become so clear for him and he is able to focus and stay on track in life. After hearing from him, I remember how several months ago my therapist suggested me to be on anti-depress medication, which I didn't listen. Now I just think maybe it is the only way to go.

Is there anyone who is currently on medication for a disorder such as depression? Does it really help?

  there,

The pain we are in, does not let us function 'normally'. It is not about just doing the daily business normally, but with your mind and heart connected - so you are not troubled by anything else. But this is difficult at times like this as - as we have beeb undergoing array of emotions.

One time a friend of mine conculted a psychiatrist - and this person prescribed a bunch of anti-deps and other medicines. I think it would to first see a qualified psychotherapist (not psychiatrist). I do not think we most necessary need medication to recover, as we could psychologically get addicted to these.

I am seeking for therapy too. I am also looking into yoga and healing therapy. Hope you find a good T.

You will be fine, just focus on your healing.

Good luck and take good care!

CC

While I tend toward agreeing with crystal clear, it does sound like your depression is getting the better of you. I note you are seeing a therapist. A qualified psychologist may be helpful unless your therapist is one. Have you looked into cognitive behavioral therapy? It may help if you have not already. However, I too have avoided the antidepressant journey, although since all the recent trauma beginning a month ago by my uBPDxbf on top of a lot of other pressures, my anxiety has been getting the better of me regularly. Today at the Dr she again suggested I try one JUST to get through the next month (I have a lot I need to be functional for in that time). I got the prescription filled and it is sitting on my counter, but I am still reluctant. So I would also be interested to hear if people have found them helpful when detaching from wounds of a failed BPD relationship.

Good luck to you! :)

I am in the same boat... . I know that I am now suffering from  some form of depression as a direct result of months of being abused,emotionally drained etc.I am having panic attacks at night and pretty much just want to cry continually.My doctor took one look at me and wrote out a prescription... . but I just don't know.I do know that several friends have relied upon them following break ups and state that they help by lifting the "fog" a little.But I don't want to start medication because I can't help feeling I am like this because I am reacting to a situation rather than suffering from depression.It's hard to tell.All I know is that I awful inside

FEEL awful inside... . not "awful inside"! That view is reserved for my ex lol