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To all... . It's hard to explain in words but one word kind of says it all for me... . why I finally feel unchained from the toxic aftermath of my 2 and 1/2 year ordeal with my exBPD/NPDfiance/gf... . EPIPHANY.  Webster says it is a "moment of sudden revelation or insight" .  Obviously, the path/journey was not sudden... . yes it was riddled with anger, pain, hopelessness, betrayal... . everything we all have gone through/and some still going through... . but one of the keys for me was understanding me!  My therapist asked me 3 1/2 years ago after my wife died... . "Who are you?"  I couldn't answer it because I was so over taken by all of the events in my life, I never really understood "Who I Was".  I do want to thank clearmind personally for constantly reminding me throughout all of my posts to "look within" for the healing path... . it wasn't until I opened that door that the healing process began... . not just for my BPD/NPD experience but understanding how being an Adult Child of an Alcoholic, my Navy experience, the traumatic loss of my wife has affected my life and consequently, attracting me to the BPD/NPD personality and using it for my own pain relief!  So clearmind... . I cannot thank you enough!

I will be posting my story under the success stories area soon... . but I want to be sure I capture as much of the path to this epiphany as I can recall and articulate because I believe it important for everyone to see there is not only hope but a path back to reality!

 |iiii 

Congrats, FlyNavy!

It's a beautiful thing, isn't it?

Ms M

PS:

GO ARMY! :)

 |iiii

Congrats flynavy.   |iiii 

I have a feeling you are going to do just fine Fly. Remind yourself you did all the hard work. Freedom from pain is a gift.

I so recall this epiphany you talk of. Your horizon opens up. You begin to notice the sound of your footsteps, the birds singing, the leaves falling from the trees in fall, the children laughing - these are all signs of being awake and of being present - no longer hiding and running from

pain or masking it being in a toxic relationship.

Kudos to you Fly and I look forward to reading your story in the success thread. You truly have succeeded. Feeling is wonderful.

Flynavy,

Congratulations! I'm SO happy for you  :)   

I hope my horizon opens up one day. I will keep you struggles and success in my thoughts as I keep plowing through my pain.

Wish you the very very best! Don't leave bpdfamily, don't forget about those of us who are still in the trenches.

Not gonna/can't leave friends in need!

Very happy for you.  I think my healing began when I realized my ex is a bottomless pit & no one can ever fill him up.  Sad, but I refuse to be a victim.  You are on your way!