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After almost a week of wanting to divorce me, my husband decided that he loves me and needs me.

I started to ask him questions like when he will be moving out so i can go on with my life etc... . Also asked what his reasons were for wanting to leave etc. he kept saying he will not repeat imself but its not his fault that we will be getting a divorce.

I didnt say much.

He was curious to know why i was so happy. Saying that Im taking him leaving, as a joke. Actually i was surprised at the relieve (sorry i know this sounds harsh)

He sent me a text where he told me that he loved me. Needed me. And wanted me to hold him. He advised that he was going thru a bad patch.

Ive not spoken much to him eversince. And am giving him the space he needs. I am not alking to him much. At night he tries to hold my hand etc. but im not feeling it.

Why am i feeling so let down at him staying.

It's ok to feel a bit conflicted about this.  It's very understandable.   :)

Maybe give it some time and see if you start "feeling it" again.  In the end, its not entirely his decision whether you stay together or not - you have a say in that too.  Search your heart, what do you want?

Hi Wishful Thinking! That sounds so much like my husband its not even funny... . dont to everything he says. I can understand exactly how u are feeling. I too which u might have read from a post of mine... . just wish he would leave. Did I tell u he wanted a divorce ... . again... . last week. Its so freaking exausting I have been SO guarded the past few days careful to get all trapped in again... . I know that sounds bad too. I haven't been doing much talking either. Read my post from just now if u get a chance :-) 

I feel the same way as u!

I am so conflicted to because I feel like if the tables were turned wouldn't I want someone to love me?... . im so exausted and over it. Breifcase ... . my case I want him to be normal... . I want nirmal things with the normal arguments... . normal outings with friends (dont even know what that is anymore) posted tonight about that. My heart of hearts doesn't know how much of this I can handle sonetimes

Conflicted emotions.

Thank you briefcase

@jeansok.

I read your post and i feel for you also.

Im with you when you say i wish he would leave... . but as briefcase mentioned that we have a say in the matter too. And even this, takes time.

What was your response on him wanting to divorce you... . again?

I pretty much flatly ignored him. The next day he was all about wanting to stay... . he came in while I was sleeping and asked me to go the next day to sign papers... . he's always talkibg like that and I dispise the negativety! Always saying things like when were apart etc etc... . im so numb tonight

I understand that conflicting feeling.  In his last dysregulated episode, in which he says again we're going to divorced (apparently he has done research on it), I actually wanted him to go ahead and do it.  Not because I don't want to be with him, I just don't want to be toyed around (not intentional, I know, but that's how I felt about it).

Wishful thinking, you know what, sometimes after my H calms down (after dysregulating), he would be wanting closeness, wanting to be intimate, and I just won't "feel it".  Then he'll be angry at me (because apparently I have no right to feel upset when somebody's just lashed out at me, as he's so loving and accomodating to me).  I don't think that prolonged periods of feeling distant is healthy but sometimes we just have to take a breather... . so I know what you mean.

Sorry I'm not offering any advice here, just want to you that I can feel your pain