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Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD => Topic started by: jase on June 07, 2013, 01:48:43 PM



Title: Off the Rails Again
Post by: jase on June 07, 2013, 01:48:43 PM
Good grief.  I texted my uBPD mom today to ask her to email me something, and she went crazy and sent me a series of crazy texts about how I was mad at her (I wasn't, until then) and someone had been filling up my head and how she was through with us.  Exhausting.

When she does this, I have a twinge of guilt for some reason - maybe I did do something wrong, maybe her anger is valid.  What's scary is that she seems to find things out that neither my sister, my partner, or me have ever repeated to anyone else.  She's a spy of the worst order, but I'm beginning to wonder if she's telepathic.  Do many of you have guilt and simultaneously feel like you are being stalked, even from far away?


Title: Re: Off the Rails Again
Post by: GeekyGirl on June 07, 2013, 03:45:19 PM
Many of us have been conditioned to put our parents' needs ahead of our own and we automatically feel guilt when our parents' needs aren't met. You're definitely not alone!

This is what I use as a litmus test to determine whether my behavior wasn't *ahem* the best it could have been. If a colleague were to describe the incident and you weren't, what would you say about what you did? Sometimes I realize that I didn't do anything wrong. Sometimes I think, "Yeah, I probably could have handled that better."

What is your mother doing to make you feel like you're being stalked?


Title: Re: Off the Rails Again
Post by: jase on June 07, 2013, 04:00:33 PM
What is your mother doing to make you feel like you're being stalked?

Maybe stalking is the wrong word (although I've seen her do it countless times), since she lives 400 miles away.  In this case, I know I've discussed her situation with my father and his (now ex) wife, and she's (the ex) a blabbermouth, especially now.  Otherwise, she seems to know a lot of things that we never tell anyone else (we try to talk to her as little as possible).


Title: Re: Off the Rails Again
Post by: nomom4me on June 07, 2013, 10:08:58 PM
I wish BPD's realized that talking about people more than they actually talk to the person they are talking about is really rude and creates uncomfortable situation.  I know I'm discussed, and although they only met him briefly my boyfriend has been talked about in a projection kind of way.  I don't even like going to my childhood home anymore because the air is so thick with everything that has been said about me.