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Title: Easily Happy and detached Post by: stop2think on June 10, 2013, 09:16:19 AM all,
3 months NC and after a month long avoidance for work purposes as well, i received couple of work emails from my exbf today. Since the breakup, even if he emailed(work) it never sounded the way it sounded today. He actually started with 'Hope all is well with you' - he never said this for months on official emails in the past 4 months. We only emailed in extreme emergency after the split. He always got straight to the point. Today i was numb - his emails sounded like nothing happened between us, like the old days when we were in the r/s. Smileys, being courteous. I do not know what to think, i just took at the face value and reverted with apt professional responses (with NO smileys/emoticons). Clearly, he is completely detached from me, he sounds HAPPY and content... . A new beginning for him - Good for him, and good for his trophy wife... . Title: Re: Easily Happy and detached Post by: laelle on June 10, 2013, 09:25:30 AM He probably isnt triggered anymore. When they get really close to someone, that person becomes a trigger for their pain. Once that person is out of their lives,
their pain recedes, and they start trying to attach to the same person again or someone else. It never ends. His pain is always there. Title: Re: Easily Happy and detached Post by: ISwallowedaFly on June 10, 2013, 03:31:17 PM i honestly think youre reading into this too deeply, though i understand why you would. you were stirred and upset from contact with a person with whom you experienced trauma. but i think thats leading you to projection on your part. simply put, it was an email. not a face to face encounter, which might have gone very differently. i suspect something about the email triggered memories of him that caused you to 'recall' him in a certain way. such contact toys with our own sense of object constancy, which frankly can toy with our sense of reality. had it been a face to face encounter, he might have been the one to come away with this impression.
and of course its easy to sound happy and like all is right in an email. you didnt really detail the email, but its not unlikely he was presenting a too good to be true image. which is something everyone can identify with so its not a stretch. but i think the contact on his part speaks for itself. |