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I'm used to being painted black by my stbx. During our 10 yrs-r/s she has often painted me deep-black. But normally she would do it to me and to her family and not to mutual friends. Of course she filed charges against me, but I still could live my life within my own network.

She now has made another step. I learned she has contacted some mutual friends and told them about me molesting her (which is NOT true). I didn't speak to those friends myself, but was told this by a third person.

How do I handle this? Knowing those people I don't think they will speak to me about it, without me asking. I'm not sure I should do it, but I do not want to leave it this way.

Any insights? 

My ex has started this... . just remember that most people will see through this and not believe her in the end. It´s a weapon and mine did this before. But of course if she goes to far it´s good for you to follow her actions in this matter, but don´t engage with her. That´s what the want.

Me and my ex have mutual friends and she´s training at my gym where i´ve known people for many years and all of a sudden she found interest in martial arts. I´m sure she will paint me black there.

I just told our best mutual friend: "she will tell things about me which are not true". But i won´t talk about her with them or want to know anything about her from them.

take care :)

Thanks for your reply.

Earlier I allready told our mutual friends I wanted to stay at a distance from her. I also told I wouldn't speak about our problems, but if they wanted to know certain things, I would try to answer them.

I hope our mutual friends will contact me themselves. I don't know yet what to say, besides her stories aren't true (more the opposite!).

Untill today I tried not to be negative about her and still will not be.