BPDFamily.com

Well here I go again... . after a few failed attempts of NC i´m starting to feel better. This time I will stick to it.

Her last interaction with me was too much for me. 3 weeks ago she said she would do anything to get me back, on her knees basicly and last week she told me "in a cold calm voice" that I was unhealthy, not her type and she would now move on and find a man who was worthy of her.


The day after after she sent an sms and said she hated me and I was full of conspiracy theories and never wanted to see or hear from me again.

I then got info of her previous behaviour with other men and my puzzle and seeking for "proof" came to an end. I became obsessed in convincing myself of her being BPD. Her symptoms scream it.

Sure I´m hurt, I miss her. I´m angry with her and also myself. I lost a lot of money. I lost my self confidence, i´m so not interested engaging with other women and am so fatigued. I´m also of wondering if she REALLY has given up on me. Only after a 14 month relationship. My divorce after 9 years marriage was a lot easier than this... . which is strange !

I know she is doing the smear campaign... . but there is nothing I can do... . I won´t engage in that dirty fight.

But I´m feeling better. Renovated my apartment, had a fantastic weekend with my children (not hers).

I have anxiety problems and panic attacks and the have gotten a lot better these few days.

I´m seeing a little bit of sunlight after this darkness... .

I have used that phrase many times ... . glad to hear you are seeing sunlight after days of darkness .  It will get easier every day , just keep moving forward .   :)

Just for clarification, when this site mentions NC are we talking about even if they try to contact us in any way?

In other words when we say it has been 1 week NC, does that mean that we have not tried to initiate contact with them and we have not received anything from them?

I know what you mean about breaking it off. I left a 23 yr marriage with no problems, it was a breeze, we still talk today, after 3 years.

2 years in BP relationship, it's been 4 month since I broke it off, and probably the worse 4 months of my life, and I'm 52. So many up and downs and confusion and wanting to go back even though you know it's the worse thing you can do, it's madness, that one person can throw your life into such chaos even when it's been over for a while, these are some powerful people.

Hang tough with NC, I think it's the only way to go through the withdraw process from the addiction we had to these people.

Going back for just one ore hit, just starts the cycle all over.

She sure sounds BPD. Her behaviour sounds pretty much like my exBPD. I´m also trying to go NC this time. I have no hope for a furture with her anymore - not even as friends. Good thing for you that you are NC. Stick with it |iiii