BPDFamily.com

So my BPDh is inpatient, lost his job, surrendered his medical license and I got fired on the last day of school.  Now I am home with two small children with very little support - I don't know many people out here and my family is on the other coast.  H wrote his autobiography as part of his treatment and he basically said "you've caused me a lot of trauma" and now is refusing to call.  I cannot call him directly.  I have recently admitted that I am codependent.  I fully expected him to lash out at me during his treatment, but now that he has, everything seems to much for me to handle.  Money, kids, marriage... .   I just don't have much faith in anything right now.

Hi lizzard

You are in a tough place, with your h without work and two small children. 

You need all the support you can have. I agree with you about codependency. Did you ever consider to reach out for a T for yourself?

Please stay in touch this time, it can help 

 Sorry.  don't  know  what T  means.  have  started  going  to CODA  meetings  which  help.  my  anxiety  goes  through  the  roof  as I  have  also  lost  my  job. as  for  him  he  keeps  telling  me I  am  unsupportive when  he  is  vulnerable.  what  is a  good  way  to  set a  boundary  and  let  him  know  that I  am  here  and  supportive?

T = therapist. CODA meetings are helpful too |iiii

Yes, boundaries are important. We have a article about it: Boundaries Tools of Respect (https://bpdfamily.com/bpdresources/nk_a120.htm)

Do you have a example where you feel you need boundaries?

The second very important thing are validation and SET, to answer your question about let him know your support. I would start with validation: Communication using validation. What it is; how to do it (https://bpdfamily.com/content/communication-skills-validation)

Please feel free to ask more questions.  :)