BPDFamily.com

So, lots of drama I already mentioned. Long story short, sister sends raging email, mother gets my in-laws involved, rest of family tells me they don't want to hear my side of the story - fun fun!

The other day my husband said . . . well, I can't write exactly what he said so I'll sanitize it.

He said "screw 'em" (except the non PG version).

He isn't a big fan of my family (gee, wonder why?) and he doesn't like his sisters. The only one he cares about is his mother and honestly, he doesn't respect her opinions, he just worries about her feelings. But he supports me in all this and he thinks the rest can go take a long walk off a short pier.

But "screw 'em" has been going through my head and I decided, he's right.

With each incident I care less and less what these people think. Yeah, each time I do go through a period of being sad or hurt - I'm human -  but in the end, each incident makes me stronger in my resolve to distance myself more and more from these people. 

They're messed up.

Some of them are disturbed which causes them to be mean.

Some are cowards. My aunt in particular said to me that she's scared of her sister and won't stand up to her. I get that, but a few years ago when I had my breakthrough crisis my aunt allowed my mother to think she agreed with her on something that my mother was angry at me about. It was something my aunt actually agreed with me on but she didn't tell my mother that because she feared her rage being turned on her. And now she's one of the people who won't listen to my side of what's going on. I feel sorry for her for being scared but it still means she's not a person I want to have in my life in any significant way.

Some are just nosy busybodies who think they are doing good but really are just being jerks (waves to SIL).

All of these people had bad childhoods and I feel bad for them. But I had a bad childhood too and I get to decide what to put up with.

I teach my kids that it's not ok to let someone hurt you just because you feel sorry for them. Sure, we can overlook someone having a bad day or going through a bad patch (if the relationship is otherwise good) but that's different. When the relationship is overwhelmingly hurtful and the bad outweighs the good then you walk away. Even if it's family, or someone who loves you.

So yeah, I know it's a childish sentiment, but "screw 'em" has been working for me recently. It's a good mindset when dealing with situations like this :)

And while it's totally not safe for work or sensitive ears, one of Lily Allen's songs has been a pick me up too  :) (the song itself is actually about gay rights but it's still oh so very fitting,  lol).

I know which song you're talking about, lol.


It's funny, my "inlaws" are really normal, and in the 6 years I've been hanging around them, I've never seen one serious argument. They'll bicker for a few minutes about tasks, but move on. Families like ours make it seem like this is stuff that HAS to happen all the time. The drama triangles, the arguing, the mind games, the intense emo talks. It doesn't have to happen at all. Whatever acquired "taste" for emotional drama I was taught growing up has completely lost its appeal. It's starting to look comically sad in comparison.

Yeah, screw them.