BPDFamily.com

My BPDw hates her job. Well has hated all her jobs ever since I have known her. I find a job I like and enjoy very much. She texts me this AM and says I'm pissed at you... . My answer "for why?"

I left a note this am as I always do and mentioned I slept ok and asked her if she did.  Her reply" Becasue you know I had a horrible week this week sleeping and you know last night was ___ and you brag about how you slept so well and how you love your job and i go through hell everyday. "

I said I'm sorry you are dealing with this crap. The end is in sight. (She is going i back to school in August and has garaduate assistantship).  Sh says no its not. Of course I ask why. Her reply" F***off I have slept for s***t this week anbd was busy nonstop this is bs and I don't want to do this at all anymore. You piss me off.

Well if that don't just start you day out all lollipops and rainbows.  I'm at the end of my rope with this relationship.

Cipher13 You aren't responsible for your wife's happiness.  You are only responsible for your own my friend! 

My only thought is 'why did you say that you were sorry that she is dealing with crap.'  That almost seems like you are taking some responsibility for it?  By the way, no end is in sight... . when she goes back to school she will still find things to be unhappy about (just at school instead of at work). 

I think that I might have responded to the original text with something like "its understandable that you are having a hard time dealing with lack of sleep and your difficult job situation."  What this does is validate her struggle without taking any unreasonable responsibility for it. 


This is understandable.  We have all been there   

Check out the link on validation https://bpdfamily.com/content/communication-skills-validation (https://bpdfamily.com/content/communication-skills-validation)

Using this tool might help to defuse some of your conflict.  Good luck!

Her feelings now are perceived as forever. So telling her it will be over soon to her sounds like you are not taking her serious, as she cant project past the feeling of now. The end may seem in sight to you but she cant see that far

Listen and dont offer solutions, or attempt to minimize her fears.

As allibaba says, if she has BPD, then what ever drama she may have now will only morph into the next one. The drama never ends just changes its point of focus.

Endless self initiated drama is the curse of suffering with BPD.

Well good for you on that. 

You know what to do when reach the end of the end of the rope, right?