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Well, uBPDh decided at 8pm to ask what "we" are doing for s5 b-day tomorrow.

"We" are not doing anything because:

1. h doesn't want to spend money

2. h doesn't want to clean house

3. h doesn't watch kids so I can clean the house

I knew we weren't doing anything because I had asked 3 months ago about what we could do and he was resistant then so I let it drop.

As he was escalating tonight in front of s5 I told him this was an important conversation but I did not want to have it in front of son.  He said he was watching tv and couldn't hear.  I said I was going downstairs if he wanted to talk.

I went down and started to clean so I wasn't "wasting" time waiting for him.

Several minutes later he came down - he still had "that look" in his eyes, but I let him say what he wanted to say and I pointed out what we could and couldn't accomplish by tomorrow.  I re-explained the same thing several times until he was understanding.  I stuck to the schedule that I wanted even when he was saying no.

I was able to bring up the new counselor we are going to see on Monday.  He said he wanted to see someone who would also see us individually.  I explained to him (again) that the person we were seeing would see us once together, then each separately.  He complained about how far away the person is.  I said that is why I was picking him up and driving  him.

So at the end of all of this, I don't feel upset.  What normally would go into a full blown fit ended up being a tiring - but not upsetting - conversation.

Little Victory #1. 

|iiii  Such a great feeling!