BPDFamily.com

Hello, Everyone,

I am new to this group and new to any forum or support group but I need you. I am an adult child of a mother with BPD. I have endured 45 years of emotional and verbal abuse along with traits of physical abuse. I am also an only-child. Despite being as old as I am, I feel like a young child trying to find a way in life. I have experienced first hand what "no wire hangers-ever" means. I feel like an Adult Child of an Alcoholic. My mother, however, was not alcoholic. My father is co-dependent and supported me in his own way. I was married one time to an individual who was not able to commit and I am now in a 12-year marriage with a supportive spouse. My mother, however, does not like him. I have a ten year old child with Asperger's which makes it even more difficult as my mother does not understand Asperger's and does not see need to start. I am seeking a support group to learn more about how to cope with a family member with BPD. I am looking for others who have experienced and are experiencing the same traits as I am. I look forward to getting to know other members.

Hi, seekinghope    And welcome... . You really are in the right place for the help and solace and information you are looking for  :) I am so sorry for what you've been dealing with for 45 years, but so glad you are here   

Everyone here knows the pain and heartache inherent in any relationship with a person suffering with BPD, and many are here because of their relationship with a BPD Mother. Has your Mom been diagnosed? Has she ever been treated for it? Have you, yourself, ever seen a Therapist to work with what you have been dealing with?

There are many Workshops, Articles and Videos here that will help you here, but below is just a little start:

How a Mother with Borderline Personality Disorder Affects Her Children (https://bpdfamily.com/tools/articles8.htm)

To find others who are posting here because of their family members with BPD (and especially Mothers; there are lots of people here because of their Moms!), this is the Message Board where you will find many senior members with experienced advice and sympathetic ears:

[L5]  Coping and Healing from a BPD Parent, Sibling, or Inlaw Board (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?board=7.0)

I know what a BPD Mom is like... . Not my own Mom, but my Husband's; and I've been dealing with her as a DIL for 39 years! I can so sympathize with what you are feeling; I've listened to my Husband's stories of growing up with her, and seen with my own eyes and heard with my own ears the rages and abuse that she generates  :'(  Though I know that I'm able to detach from her venom a bit easier than her own children can, I do see and feel what my H and his siblings deal with.

Actually, I do believe that you probably have it much worse that they do; at least they have each other to talk to and commiserate with and blow off steam with. I am so sorry that you have to deal with all of that all by yourself   I bet you will find someone who is in just your situation over at the [L5] Healing Board mentioned above... . Please read and post over there when you feel comfortable; the support you will get will at least shine a little light for you to follow and embrace... .

I'm so happy that you have a supportive husband, and I wish you all the best with your son. Do you live close to your Mom? Do you see her often? Glad you are with us 

Hi seekinghope,

*welcome* I just wanted to join in on the welcoming party. :) How much contact do you have with your mother now? We look forward to getting to know you and hearing more of your story. I know you'll fit here. Keep posting and sharing! Sending you lots of caring and support.

Hi, seekinghope... .  

Just checking in to see how things are going with you... . Have you had a chance to poke around the site?  *) I know the members around here have all sorts of know-how and insights and stories to tell that can lead you to healing and strength to deal with your struggles... . Let us know how you are doing, and if you need answers to any questions 

I am curious how your son with Asperger's is doing? I do know that some of the skills you will learn here can help you with your communication and understanding of him and his needs, also... . If you can keep us posted, that would be VERY cool  *)