BPDFamily.com

I hope I worded the  subject right.

x2bh will eventually receive a share of my share of my family's business and half of the house. He is currently late on c/s. I see that being a pattern. I see me having to pay the L in the future because of this.  Is it possible, or has anyone had any positive outcome,  to not take support in lieu of him not taking his share of money that would be equal to the support?  I asked L but he wasn't  too keen on the idea because of so many factors. But L also makes his money on me having to ask for help to get the c/s.

It will certainly depend on your state, but in my state parties cannot trade off a marital asset for child support.  This is because child support can always change, based on circumstances.  Child support is for the child, so if circumstances change, the court will not allow parents to sign away the child's right to receive support.

Here's an example of a client I had.  Child is in her late teen years.  Dad is fed up with dealing with Mom and offers to pay the next 18 months of support in a lump sum.  Mom accepts.  However, the Court won't let us say that this payment is payment in full when we file the stipulation.  It is always possible that when the child is 17.9 years old she gets into an accident and needs support for longer, and the court would have jurisdiction to change the amount of support.

When I was divorced, part of the settlement was that I would pay ex more alimony for a few years in place of child support.  You see, I didn't have to pay income tax on alimony, but would have had to pay income tax on child support.  However, my lawyer said that despite our settlement otherwise, she could always return to court and ask for child support.  So he wrote into the settlement that if she ever sought child support before the alimony ended, then I could take her to court to have the alimony adjusted accordingly.

Likely it is the same in most states, you can't barter away child support, not if the other parent later decides to seek it anyway.  In your case, you are the recipient, so I don't know what to say except that gov't likes the concept of paying CS through the state/court system.  Maybe it's for the 2% they make from it.  Maybe it's to avoid one parent crying 'foul!' about the other parent.

Thank you for the explanations. I have a better understanding of it.

Yes I'm the recipient but havnt received it.

There is a process for collecting. Do you know what it is in your state? Maybe garnishing wages? My ex is supposed to pay on the 1st of the month, but he sends a check that arrives anywhere between the 7-15.

I decided to budget accordingly, but my L said I could have the CS redirected from his paycheck so that I get it the same day he gets his paycheck.

There is a process for collecting.

My state (Pa) requires , by state law, that all child support be collected by a state agency and then distributed. The federal govt pays the state for the money it collects therefore the state doesn't want anyone to do it privately since they don't get federal funding this way. I was paying my child support myself for over two years. The state finally caught up with me and started having my wages garnished. I was then put in arrears and had to go to court. I was yelled at for being in arrears. I showed that I was never in arrears when I was paying myself and that quieted things down. They refused to let me pay the way I was prior even though I was never late. It's a business for the state and I think this lends itself to bias in the states favor. I have found that family court is extremely dysfunctional.

Maybe I'm just jaded, but I'd be tempted to deduct any child support arrears from the amount of money paid to him from the asset distribution, regardless of what the lawyers said.  In the end, bad behavior is rarely, if ever, punished in court.  I'd be awfully tempted just do it and dare him to take me to court for it if he didn't like it.

I know that's not great legal advice, but I've gotten to the point where I've actually disobeyed court orders (with what I thought was good justification) and explained why later to the lawyers, and afterwards both sides lawyers made sure it didn't get in front of a judge.  I guess at this point, with any issue if I think I've got reason to justify an action, I don't worry too much about taking it.  But that approach isn't right for everyone.  

I don't think this is jaded. Take your own sweet time paying anything out so you have as much leverage as you need. Ask you lawyer what the consequences would be.

I'm supposed to report any increase in salary, but I'm funded by grants, and they are often temporary. My L told me not to worry about reporting it unless N/BPDx decides to take me to court.

So much for following orders!

Sadly, I use all the additional money I earn to pay off legal bills.

My L said for me to ask h if he plans to pay the medical ins. I tell my L to please don't make me do this. L says it will save me money vs L asking. Wrong placeto save money. I asked h many times. Finally a response, says for me to ask his L that he is not going to respond to me. Grace period up next week. Maybe h will pay, I hope, as I have always done. Maybe he is making me sweat for the fun it as he always liked doing.

I talked to domestic relations today. Since h is a self employed contractor (for a large company) they cannot garnish his wages. He has to send it to the state and the state to me. There is no record of support. If it comes in on Monday the first it will go towards July not June. An alert wil be put on him. June payment will then be in arrears (back payment due).

My support is based on me working full time at so much an hr even though I'm not at that point yet. Good what if question for my L.

To take my time paying h what I owe him in assets... . yea I guess that would be best but I want offically divorced from him soo bad.

You can be officially divorced from him without everything being completely paid out. Meaning, you could agree to the settlement, and then take many years to make good on it. Or, you put conditions on the pay out. If H is current on his support, then he gets x amount at y date.

Not sure if you're past the point of tweaking the language, or if that's even possible.

Lnl , that is fantastic advice

Got med ins for June and some support but it took L intervention$ to get it.