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Title: Do some theropists not have a clue Post by: cal644 on July 01, 2013, 08:13:52 PM The reason I ask this question s that my stbex has been seeing the same theropist for 9 months now. Not too recently my stbex walked out on my daughters theropist and refuses to ever go back. My daughters theropist said she has had 4 incidents with my wife that have never come up in 20 years that she has been a theropist. So since my wife walked out she tried to see if she could get together with my stbex theropist (work in same building different offices) she told my stbex w theropist some of what's going on. My wife's theropist said (wife) would never say or do anything like that and that it was just me feeding daughters theropist full of lies. My daughters theropist has seen the true side of my wife - she has seen the emails and texts from my wife - she has said my wife never comes to her direct but needs to go through me (proof,proof,proof) my wife's theropist said she doesn't beleive any of it. So can theropist after 9 months still not have a clue? Is my stbex being truthful withe her or does she have her fooled? You would think that this theropist would have a clue what is going on - but it's funny some of the stuff my theropist has told me and then I inform my wife - a month or two after she asks her theropist she says - yea I can see where you have that, or yes I thought you had that. Why is it the knews has to come from other theropist before my wife's starts to come up or think - hmmm maybe I should check into that. Then when she does low and behold it fits her to a T.
Title: Re: Do some theropists not have a clue Post by: Octoberfest on July 01, 2013, 09:34:13 PM Hey cal,
I think i understood your post pwBPD live a life of lies. Not always to other people (often though) but with themselves. It is where mirroring comes in. They are not comfortable (often disgusted) with who they see themselves as. I wouldn't call it unlikely at all that your stbex has her therapist fooled; it is how these people survive. They paint a rosy picture because the real one is stained to the point of being unrecognizable. I sort of got the impression from your post that you are questioning yourself again "am I the crazy one"? Is your stbex's therapist correct and you are just seeing things... . Well, I do not know your story. But the fact that you are on this board, a board that exists because other people from all over the world have had experiences similar to yours, and the fact that there exists a medical classification of the behaviors that you have been experiencing from your stbex means that YOU ARE NOT CRAZY. It seems unthinkable that your stbex would sidestep her own issues. Doesn't she want to get better and make the relationship work? It is in this train of thought that you begin to see just how deeply rooted BPD is. It IS NOT like getting a rash, seeing that you have a rash, and then going to get treated so the rash goes away. It is AWFULLY hard to admit you have a problem and work on fixing it when the "problem" is your normal. It is one reason i stayed with my own BPDex for so long; she was diagnosed, she was doing DBT, and she wanted to get better. It is harder to walk away from someone who is actively TRYING to get better. The therapy and her own efforts did not prevent her from cheating on me and lying to me the entire time we dated however. THAT is how deep rooted this mental illness is. It is hard to comprehend sometimes. It still is for me. Hope some of this helped :) |