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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: Carter on July 02, 2013, 08:26:56 PM



Title: Done
Post by: Carter on July 02, 2013, 08:26:56 PM
After a long protracted battle with myself and my marriage I have finally accepted that I have to move on,

dBPDw left last December and shortly thereafter started some kind of relationship with another.

Don't get me wrong I'm not bitter about that, it's just another sign that for my own health and well being

I have to let it go. I think the straw or stick that broke the camel's back was  once again finding myself calling 911

after a medication overdose.

Still having trouble with seeing the dark place she's going and having to let it be.


Title: Re: Done
Post by: Tired68 on July 02, 2013, 08:54:48 PM
I feel your pain but they are not worth it! AT ALL... . I am in pain too my friend and believe me I have thought about it , but at the end of the day once we are gone they move on and we are a memory. We need to find someone amazing and better then them , that's when we will say " what the hell was I thinking"!


Title: Re: Done
Post by: Validation78 on July 03, 2013, 08:05:20 AM
Welcome Carter!

She's been gone for 6 months now, right? Was this OD recent? Are you getting some help from a therapist?

Best Wishes,

Val78


Title: Re: Done
Post by: Lucky Jim on July 03, 2013, 09:27:47 AM
Hey Carter, After a 16-year marriage to a pwBPD, I can attest that it can take a long time to throw in the towel and accept that it's time to move on.  Yet once you make this decision, things will slowly start to improve.  Be kind to yourself -- you have been through an ordeal from which it will take time to heal.  I am quite familiar with medication overdoses and threats of suicide, which is fairly typical for a pwBPD, sad to say.  it's hard, I know, yet it sounds like you are moving in the right direction.  Go slowly and there are many here who can help.  Hang in there, Lucky Jim


Title: Re: Done
Post by: willtimeheal on July 03, 2013, 10:03:10 AM
I get brain ninjas... . and they hit out of no where.  They can bring me to my knees and I just cry.  The more I try to understand my ex BPDs the more crazy I feel so I have just stopped trying to understand it.  I realize that she will always have an excuse as to why we can't be together and that excuse will always be because of something I did.  It doesn't make letting go any easier but I do understand it is the only way for my health and happiness.  When my brain ninjas strike I cry if I need to, jounrnal, and feel the pain for a little while and then push it out of my mind-I have wasted enough time.


Title: Re: Done
Post by: Wishful thinking on July 03, 2013, 02:01:37 PM
but at the end of the day once we are gone they move on and we are a memory.

Cant help but to agree. They move on. Forget about us. And we are left to pick up the pieces.


Title: Re: Done
Post by: Carter on July 03, 2013, 06:30:19 PM
Thanks for the support, I will be having some therapy sessions coming up.

OD was a couple of weeks ago, the marriage was 22 years minus a 9 month separation about 4 years back.

Moved out the 1st of last December, 6 months and counting, a very bright light in all of this is that our daughter is thriving living with me and attending college

and she's managing her own NC with her mom.

peace out