BPDFamily.com

Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: crystalclear on July 08, 2013, 02:30:29 AM



Title: 'Aha' moment
Post by: crystalclear on July 08, 2013, 02:30:29 AM
Amusing thought that struck me.

In the initial months of the r/s my exbf had told me - "I do not waste time when the r/s is not working. I just move on. I repent having a r/s with Ms.X. I do not keep in touch with any of my exes. And will leave the place if they were around. I don't care about those b*tches anymore"

(He keeps in touch with one of his exgf's who is now married. He kept the gift she gave him in front of his bed on the table, until i asked him to remove it. They made a pact they would have an extramarital affair someday.   )

My thoughts then - He is practical and does not waste his or the girls time. He refers to them as 'b*tches' (that's awful) but probably they hurt him or wronged him.

My thoughts now - Does this mean he never actually 'works on making a r/s work'? He does not respect the women he was close to or was his gf?

Wow, now i have joined the elite club for him. I am pretty sure he will NEVER contact me again - good for me!



Title: Re: 'Aha' moment
Post by: MarcinN7 on July 08, 2013, 03:56:20 AM
Excerpt
Wow, now i have joined the elite club for him. I am pretty sure he will NEVER contact me again - good for me!

Not only that, we are the elites in the whole world because most people don`t know about PD and why some people behave like they do :) They dont appreciate many normal things or take for granted good people.

We are much wiser internally then the rest of the population which just scratches their head when the crazies are imploding around them.


Title: Re: 'Aha' moment
Post by: stop2think on July 08, 2013, 11:10:56 AM
We miss the  red-flag  that show... . We don't see the people the way they are.

We see them in the light of past good they were to us. Or we want to change them to who we think they would or could be.

Only if our love did not blind us, and only if we dint have to go throuhg this traumatic experience to open our mind's eyes.


Title: Re: 'Aha' moment
Post by: heartcoaster on July 08, 2013, 02:35:34 PM
I can't believe how many red flags I missed in the early stages of my relationship.  I learned a lot from that experience, though, and would like to think I'm better prepared now.  I never believed "love is blind" until I walked into a dating situation with my eyes shut to the whirlwind around me.