BPDFamily.com

Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: Foreverhopefull on July 08, 2013, 06:43:18 AM



Title: What a weekend...
Post by: Foreverhopefull on July 08, 2013, 06:43:18 AM
During the weekend I was blacklisted, called a selfish b$%&%h and named worst person that ever lived.

It all started with a fall. dBPDh fell down the stairs friday night and when he screamed for help, I didn't hear him (he was in the basement with the door closed and I was on the 2nd floor, asleep and tv still on). He fell because he was drunk and had taken his medications, so he was too drowsy to be in the stairs safely. I have to say that since he has been suffering of major back pain for 3 weeks, I could not imagine the pain once he was sober.

Saturday, he was in such a mood that I had a hard time trying to care for him, so I left for the day (went to visit a dying uncle 4hrs away from home). Well, he tried to reach me when my cell phone didn't have any service so I became a selfish b$%&%h.

Then we hit sunday, I spent pretty much the whole day home. I told him our niece was playing for the gold medal at 3pm at her tournament and I was going, but if he wanted to come I would wait for him, otherwise I was earlier to sit with my sister. The game was tied 1-1 and went into shootout three times... . a major nail biter game (BTW, my niece's team won gold), so I was not leaving it because it was raining. He got pissed again and that's when I got to be the worst person that has ever lived. I was lucky, about an hour later the whole weekend was erased and forgiven.


I'm proud of the way I acted all weekend... . I pretty much ignored his words and complaints. I reminded myself that if he was healthy, he would have forgiven me for saturday and would have been there cheering and screaming for our niece's game. So his words are nothing but the result of major pain and him not feeling good at all lately.


Title: Re: What a weekend...
Post by: Auspicious on July 08, 2013, 07:48:10 AM
A relationship with someone who behaves this way is definitely an education ... . an education in how to not let other people define us :)


Title: Re: What a weekend...
Post by: united for now on July 08, 2013, 10:35:36 AM
Sounds like it was a heck of a weekend.

It feels good to detach with love, doesn't it?


Title: Re: What a weekend...
Post by: briefcase on July 08, 2013, 10:46:19 AM
That does sounds like quite a weekend.  It can be hard when our partners have real medical needs.  Glad your niece's team won!


Title: Re: What a weekend...
Post by: Foreverhopefull on July 09, 2013, 06:38:33 AM
What I liked the most was I never felt guilty for detaching myself... . it felt weird, like I was heartless, then I realised it was pure survival mode.

He did mention his feelings about me leaving him, but the conversation was very nice. He gets that for me to hear him complain and bhit about everything and be blamed for everything under the sun is not fun, that the weekends are my only days off, so it's normal not to feel like staying in lockdown at home.

All I responded was that I will continue to leave for a few hours when he acts like that to ensure that things don't blow up.

He agreed with me that it's the best action.