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Title: Holidays Post by: seh77 on July 08, 2013, 10:53:59 AM Well I have to say it was definately a holiday. I know this not because of Cheer but becauase my gf found something wrong as it usually happens on any holiday, birthday, or anniversary. But I stayed calm and remebered what I have been learning from this site and was able to salvage most of it. :) I am just tired of having to do that.
Ok, here is how my 4th went. I have a child from a previous marriage. He is not my birth child but I have been in his life since he was 18 months. His birth Mom has been in and out due to drugs and other bad acctivities. So when I split with my X my Son came with me and he see's his Dad usually on the weekends. Well his Grandama (birth mom's Mom) wanted to see him for the day on the 4th and his other grandma was thinking of getting him as well that evening. Which I had no problem. He doesn't get to see either set very often. My GF had a cow because I didn't ask her about him going. I told her what was going on as soon as I found out. She never spoke up and said that we had plans. So she gave me the cold shoulder most of the day and went to her parents house. She then came back and acted like all was fine and did I want to go to the movies. We went then that night it was back to she doesn't get to co-parent. I told her she never goes to anything of his sports or academic but is VERY fast to tell him how his idea's aren't any good or to tell him no. I feel stuck and not very sure what to do. I've told her how he feels when she does this. But then she gets mad. I digress... . sorry. Anyways over the night I didn't get mad listened to everything she said and told her I would work on everything that needs work as far as communiating better as to what's going on. But the arguement somhow turned to how I don't need to talk to anyone about our problems. That my family and friends dont' like her ect. My family and friends are fine with her as long as I am happy. I just don't know what to do anymore. Title: Re: Holidays Post by: Validation78 on July 09, 2013, 11:46:12 AM Hi Seh!
It's not uncommon for pwBPD to have tough times during holidays and other important dates. Since you are aware of this with your partner, maybe you can be better prepared in the future. I would suggest that you take some time to learn about the many communication techniques that we talk about here on the site, that will help improve the way the two of you interact with each other! Take a look a here: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=56206.msg913190#msg913190 Sometimes, we can role play here on the boards to practice and sharpen our skills! Best Wishes, Val78 |