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I wondered if anyone else's pwBPD did this. My BPDex?bf would always start to rearrange furniture or things in a room, or spray paint furniture outside, before he would go into a rage.I made a list of red flags when I felt he was going to have a rage and one of them was rearranging furniture or doing something to control his surrounding environment.  red-flag

Hey Newkate!

I've never heard of the furniture thing specifically, however, my pwBPD often raged before or after certain events, thereby giving me a heads up. I found that the heads up better enabled me to prepare for using the communication skills I learned here. Have you checked these out?

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=56206.msg913190#msg913190

Best Wishes,

Val78

It clicked when you mentioned rearranging furniture as a means of controlling one's surroundings.  I'm newer here on the forum, but my BPD wife rearranges, almost constantly.  I never really gave it much correlation to the moods or tantrums, or even as a substitute for those.  I will have to watch and see if there is a change for better/worse surrounding her room arrangement rituals.  Living room is worst, btw, that's when I have to go up in the attic and redirect the surround sound speaker wires.  Most times though it is done before I get home from work, but I will definitely be on the look out now that you mention.  Thank you for sharing.

Sounds familier Another thing she does is do a heavy house cleaning just before, so that she is "supper" over tired

Now that she is "cured" I asked her about that & she said she thought she had to get the house clean because she felt something comming.

The changing furnature,she cannot control her life but can control her suroundings

Yes! Heavy house cleaning too. Anything to control or change the surrounding environment.

My H always goes outside and rearranges the flowers in the beds in front of the house. Literally digging them up and moving them. Sometimes he'll have to go lay down for a few min. like he's completely overwhelmed.

My ex would purge his home -- get rid of things.  Toward the end of his time here, before he moved a few months ago, he had practically no furniture and very few things.  Part of this is an extreme self-denial that I think is related to childhood trauma, but part of it is,  think, a desire to control his environment.  When he is feeling bad he also says things like "I need new friends;" similarly, he suddenly moved from here.  I agree this behavior feels like a desire to change something in hopes it will make them feel better.

What an interesting thread! I'd never made this connection but now that I think about it... . the three PDs I've known now -- my "queen" uBPD MIL, a exuNPD friend and my current uBPD DIL - ALL did this!  My MIL was notorious for not only rearranging furniture but buying new furnishings: it's funny, I even said this to her during our visit this past weekend, she's totally demented (but totally happy, odd how she got once her defenses were stripped) and to make conversation I was saying, "Remember how you loved to always buy new dining room sets and new bedrooms and living rooms and then get new window treatments?". I didn't even connect it with part of the illness until this thread and the responses!

The uNPD friend, a guy, was always moving, of all things, the location of his bedroom -- and his office -- and my DIL was constantly re-arranging pictures, changing placement of the couches.

Interesting how pervasive this need for control is.  Thanks for posting this.

My uBPDgf is the same way. Always needs to be controlling something especially when stressed. She on a whim put her house on the market, leased a new car, got plastic surgery, took house off market, remodeled house, bought all new furniture, tore down old pool cause no one used it only to buy a new one. Had to have pool setup immediately only to want to tear it down weeks later cause no one used it. This all took place in the past 4 months. she ckaims she has no time for herself. too budy taking care if everything. She needs constant drama. I really can't imagine her not having something to stress over. She says she has to keep mind distracted.