BPDFamily.com

My uBPDh has been very dysregulated this past week, and I'd really appreciate some help

with telling him something that will almost certainly spark a rage, even if I say everything right.

He gets very easily overwhelmed when expected to do something on someone else's timetable, and us already feeling a great deal of shame regarding the state of our lawn (we have two lawnmowers and they are both broken, in the shop getting fixed). Today, I received a phone call from the bylaw officer, that he has until Saturday to cut the grass. I'm hoping that I can tell him in a way that convinces him it's us against the lawn, not me against him or us/him against the neighbors or officer, basically that I'm on his side, and it's not a personal attack, the problem is the lawn.

I'm thinking SET is the best option, and so far what I have is

husband, I know the situation with the mowers is out of our control, and I understand how you hate feeling like you have to act on someone else's timetable, but the bylaw officer called today, and there will be a fine if we can't find a way to have the grass cut by the end of the weekend.

Also, some ideas for how to validate his feelings to keep his reaction to a dull roar, when he inevitably says that people are out to get him, the neighbors have it out for him, they're terrible people, they're all jerks, where do they get off judging us, what do you expect me to do, etc would be wonderful.

I don't get online very often anymore, I hope your lives are all peaceful.

thanks in advance.

Jagged

I do not think that there is a good way to handle this because he is allready defensive.

Option 1 hire neibour kid or lawn service

purchase new cheap mower for one time use

talk to bylaw officer & show him/her the repair ticket

Rent mower

Talk to H with these options in mind, but approch him in gental way (on eggshells)

If he gets more dysregluated KEEP CALM & all costs other wise you are putting full on hot fire