BPDFamily.com

It would be interesting to know how fellow members meet their exBPD partner.  Was it because you where friends to begin with? Did you meet on a dating site? Where you introduced by a mutual friend? etc etc.

In my case she was a friend of my ex wife. I had meet her a few times with my wife at social functions etc. After we divorced i happened to meet her at the local library. We exchanged phone numbers and became friends.  It all began there.

So what are your stories?

We had mutual friends.  She was new in town.  We both had just gotten out of bad relationships.  We began as friends but I knew she wanted more it we became items after about a year of friendship.  It seemed so right at the time but I can see things now I should have seen then.

I think I'll win the award for most happenstance/random.

I was drunk on the first night back in our college town... . We were driving home from a party at about 12 AM and our car broke down in the middle of the college campus.  As we sat there on the side of the road (and really, we took the long way for some reason, we shouldn't have even gone that way), my BPD was on a jog and ran by.  I drunkenly hollered at her, we started talking, it was her first night in town, rest is history.

I met mine at an NA meeting. That in and of itself is a huge red-flag. Anyway, I was 4 months clean and lonely, and she was about 3 weeks clean. She was staring at me the whole time. So I went and talked to her afterwards. The rest is history.

In an online chatroom.

We'd known each other in high school and reconnected through facebook.

At a car show. I was son infatuated with her that I ignored huge and numerous  red-flag  .

Met mine the old fashioned way... . in a bar.  He was staring at me from across the room and one of my friends called him over.  Beginning of the end.

My sister introduced us... . thought I would get a kick out of her "crazy" friend... . derailed my life a few times... . certainly didn't get a kick out of it.

We were neighbors in the same apartment complex. I had a month left until I graduated school and I don't think in the six months since she moved in I had ever said a word to her. Well, that night I got home from the bars at the same time she did. She was fumbling around trying to get into her apartment and I thought "maybe she needs some help opening her door" but then was like "no, probably a bad idea" and went into my apartment.

Later I was on my porch smoking a cigarette and she came out on her porch to smoke one too. I was kind of bored and asked her "hey, what are you up to?" That was the beginning and ya, it was a bad idea.

I met her while I was working.

I had a 3 or 4 minute interaction with her.  She really stood out amongst other women I had interacted with that day.  She was the only one I remembered out of about 60 or so pretty women.  She seemed very sweet, positive, friendly, genuine, maybe even a little fragile -- just that right amount of vulnerability.  Just the vibe I got.

I didn't see her again for a month.  I was hoping I'd run into her again.  I was going to try to make a move since she seemed interested in me the first time.  She gave me her number for work related reasons without me even asking.  She waved at me on the street when I saw her a couple hours later.  Then we texted a little bit, not work-related, and when I asked her out, she revealed she had a boyfriend.  The vibe I had been getting all along seemed like she was interested in me, so I was sort of crushed, but I disengaged and accepted it, and ceased contact.  She offered friendship, but I said no thanks due to the sexual attraction I had to her.

Well, about two weeks go by and she calls me.  She's all like "What're you up to?"  So, I assume she must be single now.  Right?  We end up going to dinner, having sex, sleeping together, getting coffee in the morning.  We hang out a couple more days and she tells me she's calling her boyfriend to officially break up with him.  What?  :)amn, I was screwing some other guy's girlfriend.  I'm not a fan of participating in cheating.  But, he was such a jerk, right?  The relationship was basically over anyway, right?  So I accepted it.  I was high on her beauty, the great sex, the fact that she found me, a good guy that would treat her right, unlike her ex.

Well, guess what?

By the end of our relationship, she repeated all this behavior while with me.  She had guys texting her and calling her.   It wasn't constant or anything, but it was enough to chip away at my sense of security. These were probably guys who thought she was single, like I did when I met her.  I don't know this for certain, but I'm guessing she gave them the same vibes that drew me in.  And then she'd tell them she had a boyfriend (me) usually after my demanding it.  She was still texting her ex on occasion too.  And playing online video games with him.  Etc.  It was like her energy started spreading across multiple men once she began doubting our relationship.

He was my work counterpart, and we met when he was sent to my office to train me on a new project.

It was all professional during the 3 day training. He did drop a few unnoticed clues that he was interested in me. On the last day of the training, we went out on an 'official' dinner (just me & him) - and that's where we hit it off. The next morning he left to return to his country of work - and it was thus a LDR for 1.5 yrs where we met once every 2-3 months. He told me that he 'Loved' 2 days later. He called me 3-4 times everyday, video chat almost every night and whatsapp\text kept us constantly up-to-date about one anothers whereabouts.

CC

I met mine as we had mutual friends on Fb and I knew him vaguely through work as well as being friends  with his brother.We started off as FB friends then he asked me out.I was with someone else at the time but he pursued me ( emails,calls ,texts).Such was his persistence that I ended my relationship as I was developing feelings for him .One New year's day (fuelled by Dutch courage) I invited him out with my friends and that was it.We never spent a night apart from the first night of meeting and he moved in with me two months later.Strange when I think of the initial effort he put in.Now he won't even speak to me.How times have changed!

At the airport!

We sat across each other for an hour, waiting for our flights. When he was about to leave, he asked me if I was on the same flight. I wasn't. We exchanged a few sentences, both worked in same field, so exchanged contacts. He was visiting my city for work and going back home. I was flying for business travel.

A month later he came to visit my city. We hung out and shared the great connection. And I find out he was married and had trouble with his wife ( she was too boring and mechanical). Rest is history. But glad I had, had so much to learn about myself.