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Title: Starting to Feel Indifferent? Post by: Bananas on July 15, 2013, 09:07:39 PM So I had a HUGE breakthrough in therapy last week, I know why I stayed.
While I still have a lot of work to do this discovery is making me feel rather indifferent toward my ex. I saw him today and he was just there, like a piece of furniture. I have to say although it feels strange, I like it much better than the super anxious/eggshell/sad/confused feeling I have had the past few months. If you would have told me I would have felt this way just a week ago, I would have said no way. I am actually feeling more like the old me. The way I was 2+ years ago, before we got intimate. I feel calm. Is this normal? I am so not used to feeling this way and it makes me think I was in some weird state of anxiety throughout the whole r/s. Title: Re: Starting to Feel Indifferent? Post by: simplyasiam on July 15, 2013, 09:39:05 PM i know just what your saying.
its been 6 years of crazy drama. i dont even know how normal ppl act with each other anymore. it must be like coming off drugs. gives me hope to read your feeling this way Title: Re: Starting to Feel Indifferent? Post by: Trick1004 on July 15, 2013, 10:28:56 PM I think this is a sign that healing is taking place and you are moving on.
After seven weeks I'm entering this stage also and it does feel a bit strange not having the level of stress I felt while in the relationship, almost like a weight or dark cloud has been lifted from me. I think simplyasiam has it right, that it has been so long without knowing how normal people act with other that it seems so odd. Keep on doing what you're doing, this is definitely a good sign. Title: Re: Starting to Feel Indifferent? Post by: danley on July 15, 2013, 10:39:18 PM I would say It's normal and pretty dang great! If you can see your ex as a piece of furniture, I'd say thats a good sign that you're headed in the right direction.
I don't see my ex as a piece of furniture yet. I suppose It's because I still have feelings for him. But I do not get anxiety or a rush of disgust anymore when I see him. I feel unsure if anything. But I'm glad I don't have a bucket full of hate for him. I didn't like who I was when I had those negative feelings. It didn't serve me any good. It just made me uncomfortable. My ex has shown improvement in his attitude and behavior as well. So I think this has helped a lot for peace at work. If and when I can see my ex as a piece of furniture is when I'll know that I have fully accepted that he no longer has a place in my circle at all. For now I still see him as a person. I'm not sure if you were in a weird state of anxiety throughout the relationship. But what matters is that you aren't anymore. Calm is good! Title: Re: Starting to Feel Indifferent? Post by: Bananas on July 15, 2013, 11:02:36 PM If and when I can see my ex as a piece of furniture is when I'll know that I have fully accepted that he no longer has a place in my circle at all. For now I still see him as a person. I should correct myself in that I do see my ex as a person, I am just not sure who he is anymore, he looks so vacant. And unlike your ex, mine hasn't really shown any improvement in his treatment of me, it has been pretty nasty with only a little peppering of nice that just doesn't seem sincere. And after learning so much about BPD/NPD I just have an understanding that he is mentally ill so there is really no hate on my part at all. I would actually like to see him happy. He looks so dang unhappy. SA & Trick, I do feel like I am returning to "normal" if there is such a thing. :) But thanks, I hope I am on the right track and I hope things keep getting better for me and all of us on L3! |