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Title: in turmoil plz help Post by: stronger123 on July 16, 2013, 08:43:13 AM Hello everyone... . this is just an update... . my h contacted me out of the blue last week... . wanting me back... . he says he loves me misses me etc... . but he addmitted to sleeping with another women... . well I already knew that... . thats why I left our marriage! He said loads of lies to me... . but to cut along story short h said " ive got a transfer to lobdon with my work but if u take me back I wont go?" This is blackmail right? I told him im seing a therapist and that im on sleeping tablets and anti depressents because of this situation... . he seemed concered. He sounded very confused... . sometimes adjertated and very repetitive about wanting me back and if it xan be like it used to be etc... .
I ended the phone call by saying to him... . "look the ball is mow in yur court... . u can ither run and keep running like u have done for the past four months ( not knowing where u are or who your woth) and I will just xontinue to get strong and gwt on with my life... . or u know whwre I live where I work so u come and see me face to face and talk to me... . your choice, im going now bye... . and I hung up the phone on him! Since then sat eve my home phone rang twicr rhen hung up... . witheld number... . thats it sk far. ... . any adive plz? Did I do the right thing? Can he tell im stronger now? Will he appear? Title: Re: in turmoil plz help Post by: Validation78 on July 16, 2013, 11:38:15 AM Hi Stronger!
I'm sure it's difficult to be left hanging, not knowing what someone else wants or intends to do. Sadly, when dealing with a pwBPD, that's what sometimes happens.Who knows what he will do, you can only control what you do! So, let's turn the focus to you. What do you want to happen? Are you willing to take him back after he's been with someone else? What have you been doing to make yourself stronger in his absence? What would be different if you took him back? Best Wishes, Val78 Title: Re: in turmoil plz help Post by: simplyasiam on July 16, 2013, 05:41:24 PM i know how you feel and i think you did do the right thing.
its so hard loving them and standing up to them its something all here most do ive found over the years that if i let her know im hurting she stays gone longer, at times her thinking ive moved on brings her running back but not always you really can never tell what they will do. my exBPDg/f is just now starting to talk to me again after 20 and half months apart and 30 days n/c im just learning about all this been with her 6 years but just got a name for this a year ago and was lucky and found this place about a month ago. i want my ex but have be sure shes geting help this time its a crazy dance noway to tell when the music will just stop. God willing ill be able to work this all out and protect myself at sametime |