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Note to self.

I have my code – it’s based on my definition of love, justice and wisdom.

I continue to refine my understanding of these things – there is no

end to this refinement process. To always grow in understanding is a good thing.

So I live by this code and expect others who want to be in my life to do likewise.

Let’s call this compatibility.

Nobody can entre my inner sanctum and become bonded with me (relationship-wise)

unless they clearly demonstrate (over sufficient time and circumstances) that

they are living by this code - no exceptions!

These are my term and conditions and a promise to myself to never allow

someone to violate these boundaries ever again.


Any suggestions to help refine this thought?

Note to Self:   Once I tell someone I love them and they do the same to me   I no longer need to constantly 'prove I love them' by doing ever changing tasks of crazy bullhit constantly.   

A compatible, caring, loving relationship grows stronger and greater as time goes bye, not weaker and more insane with each passing day. 

You'll do yourself short with this one.

Imho it's necessary that another first has to enter your inner sanctum before they can prove themselves.

It's like building a great wall around yourself and letting nobody in, unless they can climb this wall.

Healing ourselves for me is (among other things) learning to trust our instincts again. Sometimes we will hit a wall, but other times we will do good.

Open up, don't be afraid, trust yourself.

Are you essentially redefining your limits and boundaries? If so, what do they look like?

It's about Due diligence before someone is considered relationship material.

It's about enforcing the limits and boundaries.

Not tolerating any behaviour I consider inappropriate.

Not tolerating the testing of my limits either.

You're probably right, but for myself I refuse to look this way at a possible new r/s.  Maybe I'm too romantic, but when I feel really attracted to a woman I want to go for it. Give it a chance. Hey: I'm not falling for this woman without reason!

I'm trusting my instincts (that are sharpened by past experience) that I won't be trapped again.

Good! What do you want to protect? To know what boundaries to set we also need to work on our personal values.

Maintain peace and happiness for myself and my family – children and elderly parents

have every right to expect to be protected and feel safe within the family structure (as do I)

and that’s my role and responsibility according to my values.