BPDFamily.com

I'm new here... . you can read my whole story under the new board.  I'm so sad right now.  I could cry.

I'm at work so I can't and I'll have to try to remain professional.  But what do I do about this weekend... . my husband left me on Sat. July 6th and went to live with the women he cheated online with.  They never met prior to that Friday or so  that I know of anyway.

I'm heartbroken.  I miss him but I'm also trying to tell myself that yeah you miss him you love him, you miss all your cats that you couldn't bring with you but... . the fighting... . the money issues... . his smoking... . I don't miss that.  I miss his meals he would cook for me... . he was a great chef and I never appreciated that very much and I should have.

I'm just very sad today and down and this weekend sicne I had no place to go I had to move in with my parents last weekend so this will be my first full weekend there and it sucks thinking about it.

I know he probably won't come back here... . he doesn't have a job... . his new girl has the money for him.  So I can't really offer much.  I've called him and told him I love him and care about him.  He said he needs some time today.  So I won't contact him again until he contacts me which sucks becuase I know I'll want to contact him and won't.  But I'll want to.  This is all so fresh and hard.

   Anikaca,

 to you.

I am sorry to hear you're going through this.

It feels very painful especially as you are not really seperate. Please hold yourself together for 'you'. Give it sometime, but what have you thought if he does return?

CC

He would need to shape up.  He'd have to get a job.  I can't support us both.  There is just no way so it maybe easier for him to stay where he is at and live off her but I don't think that's what he was aiming for originally or maybe it was.  He did lie a lot.  Trust is broken now.  Honesty out the window.  I guess I'll just see what happens.  For now I'm trying to print enough of this stuff off to get me throught this weekend.

Anikaca, it sound's like you are being very strong with your situation. Cheating hurts so much and it is a choice that an individual chooses to make, we cannot easily forgive those who bring this much pain and grief to us. Just remember this fact whenever you think of him, remember the pain of what he did and know that you are better off without and can support yourself. You are a strong woman, you lived without this person in your life before just fine. You will miss him, I guarantee you that. But I also guarantee you it will get easier as more time passes, time is the ultimate healing. Its great your parents are letting you stay with them, have they offered any emotional support to the situation? I think you need to read the article on detaching and start following the steps. Could you really rebuild trust with him after what he did? The things you said are ALL choices he himself has to commit to and unfortunately you have no control of at the moment.

We are here for you though, keep us updated! 

Thank you Peabody.

I'm have a rough day today.  My parents fight a lot so it's not a very good environment for me to live in while dealing with all my emotions but I'm goign to try to keep thinking positive and trying to get out of this situation.  He is the reason mostly why I'm so broke... . I supported him for over 2 years while he was sick and couldn't work... . just played on the computer and talked with this girl.  It's just so hard to deal with.  All of it and so many mixed emotions to deal with right now I don't know where to put them.  I've printed a lot of stuff out from thsi board because my parents don't have wireless internet and I don't have a phone I can look up the internet with so it is what it is for now.  I'm glad I'm able to get on here though today and just post this.  It's been me crying through most of the day while I know he isn't crying about me at all.  So eventually I know i will need to say goodluck in your new relationship and wish you the best but remember those are my cats and I will help them if anything breaks between you two only becuase they are my cats as well.  It just sucks i can't see them since he left me and went 2 states away.