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Title: Our own issues and how they affect the BPD person in our life. Post by: Southern_Belle on July 23, 2013, 12:30:09 AM Everyone deals with problems in their life. Problems that a non-BPD person wouldn't otherwise get worked up about or could deal with them in a mature manner.
For me, I have ADHD. I've know now for the past 21 years. During these 21 years, I've taken medication and have sought professional help. The area where my ADHD affects me is with executive functioning - organization, staying focused, time management, etc... . Basically, my brain's "office" doesn't always function at optimal effort. Though, I do try. Unfortunately, I'm not a deity who is a beacon of perfection. I'm not always well-coiffed, impeccably dressed, or on time. Boo-hoo! When my BPDbf deregulates or starts an abusive rage, what do you think he likes to pick on and attack me for? My ADHD! I'm sure many of you are familiar with the symptoms of ADHD. Imagine how it is being ADHD with a BPDbf. Do you have issues you deal with that could make your situation worse? How do you handle it? Title: Re: Our own issues and how they affect the BPD person in our life. Post by: VeryFree on July 23, 2013, 12:37:50 AM A lot of nons that are in a BPD-r/s have issues with their self-esteem, with codependency, with selfworth.
Because of that it's very hard to hold boundaries, to really see what is happening and to act appropriately. The BPD 'uses' this characteristics to keep control. Title: Re: Our own issues and how they affect the BPD person in our life. Post by: jollygreen on July 23, 2013, 01:17:36 AM Hey Southern Belle, although I don't have ADHD, I can relate to your story in a way. Towards the end of my r/s my job was really putting me through some depression. It's one of those dead end same thing every day jobs. Well when I showed and talked to my pwBPD about how depressed my job was making me was when she started to distance her self. I guess because I wasn't the mister happy prince charming she had wanted me to be. Well instead of being there through the tough times, bye bye. I was there for her depression to put a smile on her face when she went through four job changes and a career path change. Where's my amazing gal to help me through my tough times? I dunno... . But yeah, it seems as though when you need them the most emotionally that's when odd things happen.
It's funny, since we have been broken up for going on five months now I have been enjoying my job a whole lot more. Interesting. jolly |