BPDFamily.com

Hi.

I was married to an uBPDh for almost 9 years.  He got back into meth, which, coupled with his alcoholism gave him what looks to be congestive heart failure.  I didn't know about the whole BPD thing, so when i tried to talk to him about the relationship he broke up with me (again) and said he wanted a divorce.  (we are in California).

Because of the meth issue (apparently only a relapse, not a lifestyle at this point, and which i found out about subsequent to his asking for divorce) i went ahead and filed the papers.  His boss (a mutual friend) served him.  He cried, i cried.  The long and short is the boss has not sent me proof of service.  He has been served, i just have no proof.

So, I'm not really in the process for divorce, and i'm not really married, either.  He came and moved all his stuff out.  (Although he is back on the property now, temporarily, he says).

Do i have to reserve him?  Can i, even though he already had the originals?

A lawyer could tell you for sure, but it sounds like you really need to have him served the papers again, a process server isn't expensive and as a neutral professional, he's obligated to do it right and the court will accept his service.