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Title: how to stop the cycle Post by: JohnnyRis on July 29, 2013, 08:46:53 AM Hi guys, i´m new here and i have already posted in the new members section. I am dating a girl that i think it has BPD. I have made this deduction based on her behaviour that is similar to a friend that i have and it was diagnosed in 2005 or 2006. That are some traits in her that make the most damage: her anger, the fact that she is very demanding, her high sensitivity and lack of self awareness, because she has not the ability to take responsability and the dificulty to trust. What can i do, not to change her because that is something that only her can do to herself, but to make her have better self awareness? Without that i think she will behave in cycles and will never leave this repetitive pattern and will never seek treatment because in her mind there is nothing wrong with her behaviour. Any thoughts?
Title: Re: how to stop the cycle Post by: Wanda on July 29, 2013, 10:59:24 AM When you figure that out let us all know... .
BPD is a complicated disease not many unless hit rock bottom seek treatment. I have been married 16 years in feburary and i have known just as long he had a personality disorder he is high functioning and still is undiagnosed. HE use to rage three times a week so like all week then it did go down to once a week then every four months. now far and few in between. but that was all do to me changing things and he just followed. i didn't worry about him as much and i did what was needed to change me. i went to theropy to learn the skills and tools for one year he went one year to a differnt theropy to learn to control his anger it was through his therapist that told me i needed to learn those skills and tools. of coarse i am like what? My husband holds a job and is real money aware, the therapist told me it was good he is a recovered alcoholic. TO this day i deal with alot of BPD traits like recently the insecurity of going back to work and working nights he is up and down, but better then where he was for 14 years just needs to get through this. good luck . oh There are times now my husband is in the black i have to bring positive things he is talking about that are negitive in to light... . THen he is in the black not as long about a thing or person... and as always *welcome* *welcome* *welcome* *welcome* *welcome* Title: Re: how to stop the cycle Post by: Chosen on July 30, 2013, 03:58:36 AM Hi JohnnyRis
I think what you've described is class BPD behaviour, and unfortunately, we can't "give" them awareness. Their problem is that they don't think that they have a problem... . that's what makes BPD so hard to be "cured", and it's impossible without them wanting to be treated. Have you had a look at the Lessons to the right? They teach you what YOU can do in this situation, and it works to some extent even when they're not aware of it! Hope you'll stick around, post your questions if you have any, or maybe just vent when you feel frustrated. Take care. |