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Title: Don't know where to begin... Post by: waterlilypink on July 31, 2013, 06:27:26 AM I need to know where to go from here - My maternal Aunt has caused serious emotional damage. The recent rage is what brings me here. I am wondering if I need to go into great family history - which is complex - to get advice or insight into how to handle this toxic situation.
Title: Re: Don't know where to begin... Post by: dangoldfool on July 31, 2013, 06:47:16 AM Hi I'm sorry your feeling so much pain right now. You might add a bit more detail to help other chime in on some similar problems they have dealt with, that might help you out.Peace
Title: Re: Don't know where to begin... Post by: heartandwhole on July 31, 2013, 11:15:15 AM *welcome*
Hi waterlilypink, I'm sorry to hear that your aunt has caused emotional damage, that is very painful to go through. Many of our members have experienced this kind of behavior and understand. You have found a great place for support - you are definitely not alone. Could you tell us a little more about your situation, like what your relationship with your aunt is like right now? How often do you see her? Has she been diagnosed with BPD? What do other family members feel about her behavior? You don't have to go into a lot of history, just tell us what is happening now, if you can. Here is a resource that may be helpful for you right now: Video-Tools to Reduce Conflict with a person suffering from BPD (https://bpdfamily.blogspot.com/2010/09/video-tools-to-reduce-conflict-with.html) Please keep posting, it really helps. We are here for you. heartandwhole Title: Re: Don't know where to begin... Post by: gloveman on July 31, 2013, 01:03:18 PM Just write something to get the conversation started. We've all been there and done that.
Title: Re: Don't know where to begin... Post by: GeekyGirl on July 31, 2013, 02:12:55 PM Hi waterlilypink,
Welcome! As you've seen, having a relative with BPD can be very trying. You'll find here that many of us can understand what you've gone through with your aunt. You don't need to go into a long family history--when you're comfortable, feel free to tell us your story and how your relationship with your aunt has affected you. What kinds of troubling behaviors are you seeing from her? Has she always been this way, or has something changed? What happened during her latest rage? The better we understand your situation, the better we can support you. Please do keep posting. There's a whole community here that understands. -GG Title: Re: Don't know where to begin... Post by: Clearmind on August 01, 2013, 05:31:53 AM waterlilypink, no you do not need to go into any detail what so ever. Two days ago I was the subject of a character assassination which my aunt also copied to every family member! I hear you and no how hard it is to process these.
The best advice I can give is to step back and don't respond, react as a Borderline will escalate their behavior to protect themselves. Her rage is not about you my friend, its projection for how she feels about herself. Unfortunately we bear the brunt. Its not your fault! - say that to yourself 100 times looking in the mirror and hugs to you. |