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After  one and a half month of being separated from my stbxBPDw I thought that the hardest things had happened: Get out of the house (in one piece I believed) and two weeks ago loneliness, anxiety and not knowing what to do with my life. I seek help, I was already with T-Phycology and things seemed ok, but due those feelings of loneliness, anxiety (and symptoms of depression), he referred me to psychiatrist last week.  Today I had my first psychiatric evaluation, I am not so damaged –I think-, anxiety and slight depression, but I need psychiatric treatment for that (Citox- starting tomorrow) and have to continue with T.

Since two days ago, I had being feeling bad again, and it’s  hard. Because, I thought that the hardest was happened. Is it normal? How do you handle the downs?

This down, was due negative thinking about being referred to a psychiatrist and expecting the worst?  Or it’s part of the process? What do you do when anxiety, bad thinking, feeling of loneliness happen?

Its normal. A part of life. A month and a half is no time at all. It took me 12 months.

Rather than push yourself to handle it – sit with it. The downs are natural – they are emotions and shouldn’t be pushed to the side. Sit with it, feel it.

Its possible you are uncomfortable with feeling vulnerable emotions – its often masking fear, rejection, feeling unloved, threatened.

Xtrange,

Sometimes being vulnerable makes us uncomfortable; when we are feeling "down" we are also vulnerable and this makes us anxious.  It helped me to explore why I wasn't comfortable with vulnerability and intimacy.  My answer helped me to understand why I was attracted to, and stayed with, a partner who could give me neither.

tailspin

Thanks Clearmind & tailspin,

I guess the fact that I need a psychiatrist triggered my anxiety (more).

The problem is that I came back to the beginning