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Title: Did this simple question ever cross your mind at the beginning? Post by: Dave44 on August 02, 2013, 11:53:27 AM So often I read stories about how incredibly attractive these exBPD's are. Mine was no exception -- a true knock out. That being said, at the very beginning I couldn't help but constantly ask myself one question... . how is this girl single? I mean she was so incredibly attractive how in earth at her age (37) could NO ONE have scooped her up yet? The confusion surrounding this became even more prevelent after the first few "dates" and hearing from her that she had never had a relationship last longer ban 3 months... . how I thought?
Looking back now that should have been my first and biggest red flag. Here I was thinking this women had just had a string of bad luck and I had won the lottery and just got extremely lucky. But at 37 to be that attractive and to have NEVER settled down... . what was I thinking? Did any of yourselves wonder the same thing when first getting involved with your ex? Title: Re: Did this simple question ever cross your mind at the beginning? Post by: Emelie Emelie on August 02, 2013, 12:26:16 PM Yep. MyBF was 48 and never been married. He had a son at 19 and raised him primarily on his own... . so I got that part. But here was a man who said he wanted to get married. Also very attractive. That was actually the first red-flag . I remember reading some dating advice for women somewhere that raised some questions including... . "Are you trying to get a commitment from the 50 year old who has never been married?"
Title: Re: Did this simple question ever cross your mind at the beginning? Post by: Trick1004 on August 02, 2013, 12:57:50 PM I might be in the minority but I'd say my ex was above average physically but by no means a knockout. She asked me once early in the r/s if I thought she was "super hot". I asked her if by super hot she meant like a supermodel and if so, then no, but I do find you extremely attractive.
As you can imagine I got some backlash for saying that for awhile. We had a great relationship physically, but what really got me hooked was the intellectual connection we had. She was damn smart to a level I've seen in few other people. Of course regardless of how intelligent she is, emotionally she behaved as a child. Title: Re: Did this simple question ever cross your mind at the beginning? Post by: Annie D on August 02, 2013, 01:03:14 PM Yep, my ex BPD partner is extremely attractive and when we met, she was 39 and had never had a relationship longer than 1 year. We lasted 2-1/2 years on and off (probably more off).
Should have seen the red-flag Title: Re: Did this simple question ever cross your mind at the beginning? Post by: Moonie75 on August 02, 2013, 01:14:16 PM Mine un diagnosed ex had been in a stable marriage for eight years, and four years with partner before that. She displayed no signs of splitting her ex husband black & seemed quite balanced & emotionally stable.
Then her divorce came through & the next three years with her were hell on earth. I'm convinced her BPD traits lay dormant deep down inside her & divorce triggered the bomb! I've spoken to several people who knew her years ago & they don't recognise the creature she is today. |