BPDFamily.com

Hi guys, I've been detaching now for just over 8 months (breakup a week before Xmas,physce!) and I'm now feeling like I'm facing the last battles.

Thankfully the ruminations have started to subside and I still have absolutely no desire to contact her (I've stuck to N.C since 2 weeks after our split) but now I'm left struggling everyday with a massive codependent hole in my side.

Because we lived together for almost the whole of the "r/s" I had to move back home with my parents whilst I heal up and I got massively used to either having friends over regularly and if not we would always have each other. Now though I can't help but feel I am just wandering from day to day trying to fill that void in me. Before I was so focused on my life and now after to a certain extent I still am. I used to be really indepent, used to be able to sit home after work and enjoy my hobbies and persuits but now I can't do that.

If I don't know ill be seeing friends after work or on the weekend I can get seriously anxious, it's not like I cAnt spend time on my own as I can, but I just have to have that crutch almost to support me.

I seriously want this to stop as I honestly believe it's the last hurdle to breaking free from this horrible time of my life... If anyone has any clue how to stop these feelings I would be really grateful if you shared, Thankyou.

I am unsure where you are as far as location, but you might check into CoDA meetings or counseling for yourself.