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Title: Swing high. Swing low Post by: Perfidy on August 08, 2013, 10:04:37 AM Yesterday I felt the strongest and for the longest time almost all morning and most of the afternoon. The best that I have felt since I learned that I was indeed single. About four and a half months ago. When evening came I fell back to depression and anxiety. It was immense. It came back with a vengeance. I cried my self to sleep and woke up crying. I don't cry my self to sleep ever. I felt so good yesterday that I thought I might be over it. To my disappointment I clearly am not. I actually feel worse now. Any ideas that could help me?
Title: Re: Swing high. Swing low Post by: Octoberfest on August 08, 2013, 10:15:10 AM Embrace it.
Grieving is a process, pure and simple. To make it worse, it is anything but a linear one. We all rode a roller coaster in being with our BPDex's... . unfortunately, the ride is not quite over. But, the end of the track is in sight finally. It would be nice if there was a quick way to be over this... . there isn't. All I can tell you is that the sooner you accept what you are going through and commit yourself fully to feeling it and processing it, the quicker you will move through it. Title: Re: Swing high. Swing low Post by: willtimeheal on August 08, 2013, 10:24:45 AM Perfidy
Sounds like we are at about the same point in our break ups. My bPD left me four and a half months ago. I can relate to how you are feeling. Some days i feel like I am strong and I am over everything but then it is like boom something hits me and I fall back into a pit. I miss her want her and can't stop thinking about her. I cry and fall back into a depression. I think about he with someone else and it makes me even more depressed. When those dark times come I deal with them. I feel the feelings I cry and I get angry if I need to. I talk to my friends and family. I post here and I journal. And I allow myself to have a bad day. If i want to sleep longer I will. I cut myself slack on the bad days. I remember the relationship and everything good and bad that happened and I take those moments of depression one step at a time. We have been hurt deeply and abused in ways we never thought possible. I think that was the hardest for me... . coming to terms with the fact that I allowed myself to get sucked in when i saw the red flags and my gut told me to stay away. And I still struggle with it because I miss her so much. So accept that you will have good days and bad days and on the bad days cut yourself a break. |